Baby, it’s cold outside: vaginal speaker plays music to foetuses
Tampon speaker means babies ‘learn from the womb’, say Babypod
If you think taking folic acid and staying away from Camembert is a big ask while you are pregnant, think again.
Spanish company Babypod has invented a speaker that is designed to be inserted into the vagina to stimulate foetal development.
Yes. Just as you get a nine-month break from inserting anything into your vagina, the scientists have an item you would be remiss not to insert – if you want your baby to sing like a mockingbird that is.
Forcing the poor mite to watch endless episodes of Baby Beethoven in the hope that it might write something musically epic rather than write on the walls, is so last symphony, darling.
For €150 you can now buy the Babypod, an intravaginal speaker developed by scientists at Spanish gynaecology clinic Institut Marquès, who claim it will stimulate neurons in the foetus’s brainstem.
The small, silicone speaker is inserted like a tampon and plays music directly to the foetus, promoting early attempts at vocalisation, the institute says.
“Babies learn to speak in response to sound stimuli, especially melodic sound. Babypod is a device that stimulates before birth through music. With Babypod, babies learn to vocalise from the womb,” according to the company’s website.
Evidence suggests that foetuses do respond to music in the womb. So banging out Bruno Mars to your bump is the way to go. Isn’t it?
Not so, the Babypod research claims. Foetuses can hear external noise clearly only through the vagina, because the abdominal wall muffles sounds. And let’s face it some of us have abdominal walls that can muffle a lot of sound.
The device has a top sound level of 54 decibels and is recommended for use from the 16th week of pregnancy, and for between 10-20 minutes a time. Try Led Zeppelin’s Stairway to Heaven. Junior will love it.
The company reassures customers that the vibrations of the device do not adversely affect a foetus. If you can use sex toy on full power until your third trimester, which experts say you can, then it seems a few bars of Little Mix isn’t going to do anyone any harm.
And your partner can listen too. Both of you can attach headphones via your vagina to share baby’s joy.
Before anyone gets too precious about handing over their vagina to common usage, remember that it has been used to contain things that, on paper, it shouldn’t, for years.
Be aware, though, that items can easily get lost and be hard to retrieve since the vagina is a structure with side and back walls. Objects, besides condoms and tampons, which are designed for vaginal use, are still inserted into the vaginal canal, medics say. Just so you know.
Here’s to some easy listening.
Top 5: Suggested Womb Tunes
Born Slippy - Underworld
Achtung Baby - U2
Push It - Salt-N-Pepa
Baby, It’s Cold Outside - Louis Armstrong
I Want to Break Free - Queen
Feel free to insert your own #wombtunes in the comments