Eating out:What with make-up, makeovers and digital photography, it's a wonder that our politicians remain recognisable at all. I was studying Bertie's beneficent portrait the other day, while stopped in traffic, and realised that he does actually look a little cross-eyed.
Then someone texted The Ray D'Arcy Show on Today FM and solved a problem for me: what exactly is wrong with Enda Kenny's poster? He pointed out that the Fine Gael leader has been turned into a character from Thunderbirds.
Restaurants, too, have makeovers and relaunches, but most of the time the changes are skin-deep. And so it is with Beaufield Mews, Dublin's oldest surviving restaurant, which has just reopened after a spot of cosmetic surgery. It has been dechintzed and there is no longer even the faintest whiff of Laura Ashley or Colefax & Fowler. It even manages to look a touch trendy, which begs a question: what do the regulars make of all this?
The curmudgeonly companion and I are capable of many things, but this was the first time we managed to significantly lower the average age of the diners in a restaurant. Often we do the opposite. The Beaufield Mews regulars are the sort of people whose children cause parental angst by getting divorced rather than by failing to tidy their bedrooms. What did they do while the restaurant was closed for its makeover?
I suspect they decamped to Roly's. And I bet they are glad to be back, because while the food is not entirely dissimilar, the service is absolutely charming, the pace is efficient but leisurely, and there's a clubby kind of atmosphere.
Eating at Beaufield Mews is a bit like Sunday lunch at your parents' (assuming they were born pre-1935 and that your mum is a good cook). It's comfortable and comforting, there's nothing silly on the menu and there's a sense of being cossetted by staff who have been at this game for decades.
With the exception of a slim variation on the spring-roll theme (filled with mozzarella and prosciutto and surprisingly good, odd as it may seem) the menu is decidedly 1970s in tone, redolent of the era of Hillman Hunters and sideburns.
Our other starter was flaked smoked mackerel with mustardy, capery potato salad and some dressed baby beet leaves, presented in contemporary bistro style, right down to the two criss-crossed chives.
This being the set menu (at €33.95, plus 12.5 per cent), we proceeded to the soup of the day, a pleasant yellow pepper and courgette affair that did indeed taste of peppers.
A main course of roast pork loin stuffed with apple, apricot and raisins was served, as you will probably have guessed by now, with a Calvados sauce. It was fine, and we were offered second helpings, something I have witnessed before only at Ballymaloe.
Rustic lamb sausages were very lamby and pungent with rosemary, perhaps a little dry, but decent enough. They came with minty mashed potatoes and red-onion marmalade.
The only real disappointment of the evening was the Black Forest gateau. If you're going to take your customers on a trip down memory lane to the days of Black Towers and Blue Nuns, for heaven's sake do it properly. This version was too dry and too shy on both fruit and booze.
Balsamic-vinegar ice cream, on the other hand, was brilliant and made on the premises. Tart but luxuriously creamy, it was sandwiched between little shortbread biscuits. Yum.
An espresso and a double espresso were, we thought, doubles and quadruples as they were so generous. With a couple of waters as aperitifs, a bottle of water with dinner, two glasses of white and a bottle of chunky Spanish red, the bill was €146.42.
It would be easy to accuse Beaufield Mews of playing safe, of missing an opportunity to catch up with food in the 21st century, but where would all its customers go? And there are times when we all need a bit of comforting nostalgia.
Wine choice:Beaufield Mews has always delivered good value on the wine list, and the selection is better than ever. Our Condado de Haza Crianza was a very fair at €33.50, but I was equally tempted by the lovely Zenato Ripassa (€34); d'Arenberg's Laughing Magpie (€35), an Oz take on Côte-Rôtie; Catena Malbec (€31); and Firesteed Pinot Noir (€34) from Oregon. Freie Weingärtner Grüner Veltliner (€24.50) is a great buy, as is the Max Ferdinand Richter Riesling Kabinett (€27). Gobillard's excellent 1er Cru Champagne is a steal at €49. Our La Linda Viognier from Argentina is ripe and peachy at €5.75 a glass or €21 a bottle.