It might not always seem like it when your teens recoil in public embarrassment at your mere existence, but parents and guardians still have the biggest influence on the education and career decisions of their children.
That can work in positive or negative ways. Some parents may be overzealous in pushing their children towards high-points courses, or courses that they think will lead to higher wages, rather than encouraging their offspring to pursue what genuinely excites and interests them. On the other hand, parents can often help their child to think less about what courses and colleges their friends are considering and more on what their child actually enjoys.
It’s a tricky balance and, for most parents, it’s all thrown into focus by the beginning of open day season, when colleges play happy hosts to prospective students. Over the past decade, third-levels have moved to include parents and guardians in their events, so that they can find out more about where their child might be going to continue learning.
While lecturers treat students as adults and so don’t involve parents in the educational choices - you can forget about being sent reports or, generally, knowing any more about how your child is getting on in college than they choose to tell you themselves - there is a realisation that it’s the parents who stump up the price of student accommodation, college fees and all the other costs that balloon when a child goes to third-level.
So, just how involved should parents be in their child’s decision, and what information - if any - are third-levels offering?
Sarah Geraghty, director of student recruitment and outreach at the University of Galway, says that they generally encourage parents to attend open day with their child, where possible.
“There is a practical reason for this: open days have a busy schedule of events. We have activities spread across eight zones, with five exhibitions, 60 talks and five tours available. This is a lot of ground to cover, so family members can split up and attend multiple talks, taking pressure off students to feel that they have to cover everything. If there are two talks and a timetable clash, the student could go to one and a parent, guardian or family member could go to the other one.”
But there are more than practical reasons, Geraghty says.
“The open day can be a real decision point for many students, where they get their first taste of what college life will be like. For parents, they are getting real-time reactions and updates from their child about courses and careers.
“On open days, if the child is overwhelmed by all the information available, their parent can help them to focus on what interests them and what more they may need or want to find out.
“Some students will of course know from the outset what they are interested in, but for those who have many options laid out in front of them, the parent can ask those all-important prompting questions.”
At what point, however, should a parent know when to get out of the way?
“They might split up for the child to do a campus tour on their own, as this is where the prospective student will be learning about the support services available, including clubs, societies and accommodation.”
While the advice is for parents to attend where possible - often much easier to do if the event falls on a weekend -, are many actually heeding that advice?
“We have noticed a changing visitor profile on open days,” says Geraghty. “The majority are bringing a family member with them. Parents may not have had many opportunities for campus visits over the last few years, with Covid forcing many open days to be virtual, but now we are seeing students visit with their parents and even with younger siblings. For many, it can be a family day out: there is lots of activity on campus and those younger siblings - even at the age of seven, eight or nine - get a first sense of what college might be like, and start thinking of the possibilities. Sometimes, they then might ramble into Galway city afterwards. It can be a really enjoyable day.”
[PANEL: ] How to get the balance right
John McGinnity, admissions officer and assistant registrar at Maynooth University, says that every student is different and will have different levels of comfort when it comes to hanging out with their parents at open day.
“I’d encourage parents and guardians to be alert as to what works for their child,” he says.
College has changed a lot since most parents were there, and there are a much wider variety of entry routes, including graduate entry programmes like graduate medicine as well as progression routes through further education and training.
Also, employers are much more likely to employ a graduate with any degree, so it isn’t as important as it used to be that people choose a course that leads to a very defined career pathway, McGinnity says.
“All the expert advice is that, when a student chooses their course based on genuine passions, preferences and likes, they will be more engaged in their course, which will lead to better outcomes and better career prospects,” says Geraghty.
[PANEL: ] A selection of events for parents
DCU: DCU’s open day, being held at DCU Glasnevin and DCU St Patrick’s campus in Drumcondra, will include a schedule of talks by staff and students which are suitable for both students and parents/guardians to attend, says Margaret Brierty of DCU’s student recruitment office.
“We will host two parent advisory talks providing guidance to parents/guardians on how they should approach their son or daughter’s path to third-level education,” she says.
“It will examine the costs involved in attending college and the many supports available to students. Furthermore, it will highlight what parents/guardians should look out for and how to tackle any issues that may arise now and as their son/daughter approaches their course of study.
“Along with parent advisory sessions there will be specific talks for students applying with a Disability (DARE) and students applying via the Access Service/Higher Education Access Route (HEAR) routes.”
Maynooth University: Maynooth University will have its open days on Friday and Saturday, November 25th and 26th, 2022. On Saturday, November 26th, there is a dedicated session for parents and guardians which will cover the transition to college for students from a parents’/guardians’ perspective.
“Importantly the session also covers costs of college including the changes announced in this year’s budget which will mean that the level of student contribution charge payable in future years will vary depending on household income,” says Dr John McGinnity, admissions officer and assistant registrar at Maynooth University.
SouthEast Technological University (SETU): For the second year running, SETU is hosting an online information session for parents. “Our schools liaison and outreach team also supports our feeder schools by attending parents’ evenings and, often, gives the main sessions,” says Olive O’Connor, a spokesperson for SETU.
UCD: On Saturday, November 12th, Anne-Marie Harvey, director of UCD student recruitment, will give an in-person talk in the UCD Moore auditorium for parents, on helping your Leaving Cert student to make a course choice. The session will outline what to keep in mind when choosing a course and discuss multiple entry pathways (beyond just the CAO), the study abroad opportunities in UCD, the roadmap to success and how you can support decision-making.
