How to stop the pain of rain

Home holidays: You can't change the weather - so just learn to enjoy it. Because it's hard to beat rural Ireland for holidays with your children.

If I hear one more person whinge about the weather I'm going to impale them on the nearest barometer. Yes, the summer weather has been disappointing, but isn't that obvious? And isn't it always? Newflash: we're not living in the Mediterranean. Global warming has made Ireland a bit colder and, apparently, wetter.

Anyone who remembers the scorching summers of the past is suffering false memory syndrome. This summer has been worse than most, and the inhabitants of this damp little island have complained more than they usually do - although I cannot remember a single summer in 20 years when people haven't complained about meteorological matters. It's either too cold, or too cloudy, or too wet, or too close, or too windy, or too dry and even, when we are blessed with sunshine - too warm for some people. Realists know that you have to make the best of what you have, and if that's rain, rain, rain, then go with it and learn to live a little.

We've grown to equate "holiday" with heat - rather than the things holidays are really supposed to be about. A holiday should be just that - a holy day, or, in secular speak, a special time to break free from the usual time demands of the materialistic working life.

A holiday shouldn't be an achievement or a status symbol or an excuse to drink too much tequila in the sun and get skin cancer while your children are shunted off to the kids' club for ten hours a day. If you can afford to fly to the sun, great. But even if you can, you'll probably only get two weeks' "sun".

Ireland is special because it offers the chance to do what holidays should be all about: down-time. Throw away the mobile, stop looking at the clock and spend unhurried time with your children.

Buy some bird and sealife guides and start exploring nature, go fishing, try sailing, take a hike, teach your son to play tennis, teach your daughter to ride a horse, sleep late, read, dine out (pick your restaurants wisely and the food is amazing), play Scrabble late into the night and make an attempt at having a two-way conversation lasting longer than three minutes with your partner.

Holidays are about rediscovering that secret place inside yourself that reminds you who you really are, and that's not dependent on the weather.

To enjoy Ireland, you have to let go of expectations of Mediterranean summers created by glossy travel brochures and surrender yourself to the life-enhancing riches that Ireland can offer. Tourist offices have brochures on places to search and learn. I know one man, a university professor, who spends three weeks every August in Kenmare and always comes back with a tan and a fresh outlook. Last week, I met a family who had spent the month of July in west Cork and are now as bronzed as Greeks. No, these people aren't secret sunbed users. The truth is, we do get sunshine - you just have to be able to catch it when it happens.

Rural Ireland is an extraordinary natural environment that lets kids be kids. If you live in the city, find a house in the country, bring your children there for a few weeks and you'll soon see different children.

Most kids in urban environments scarcely leave the two square metre space in front of the TV. Parents are too worried about traffic to let them play unsupervised in the road, which means that unless they live in cul-de-sacs, the children rarely meet others their own age. A trip to the shops or the cinema becomes a military operation, with children constantly told to behave, behave, behave.

One friend has had her four young children in Wicklow for the summer and they've learned to ride bikes for the first time. At home in Dublin, riding bicycles is out of the question.

On Valentia Island, in Co Kerry, my own offspring are transformed from sedentary, bored TV-addicts to real running, jumping children. They love the ferry to the island, they're gobsmacked by the 350-million year-old "dinosaur" footprints, they're fascinated by the waves that hit the rocks 200 hundred metres below as they eat toasted cheese sandwiches and ice-cream at the Lighthouse Café and they get a generous welcome at the Heatherhill Riding Stables. And there's a pub in Caherciveen that makes burgers from local beef just the way the kids them. "The best holiday we ever had," was what my children said after two weeks in the rain.

The relative safety of the Irish countryside teaches you, as a parent, to let go and allow your children to roam - within reason. Twenty years ago, most Irish children had a safety zone of about a mile around their homes in which to roam. Being allowed to wander gives children a sense of self-sufficiency that doesn't come any other way.

In the country, they can play in the fields, explore the seashore for hours, take the time to watch the progress of a bird's nest and invent imaginative games about princes and princesses, cowboys and Indians and even Spiderman. Instead of watching Lara Croft have adventures, they have their own. Tell me one other country that can offer a child a real castle, like the one at Ballinskelligs, Co Kerry, to run around in and make their own?

WHEN children are left to their own devices to explore nature and invent games, they realise that adventure doesn't come in a box. Just as parents need to learn that the spirit of the truly rejuvenating holiday doesn't come in a package. If you, as a parent, decide the summer is a write-off you're doing your kids a disservice. They haven't got that many childhood summers to enjoy - so put your own expectations of sun and sangria aside and see the world from your chiildren's point of view. When they're teenagers, and you have to start bribing them to go on holiday with you, then rent the Italian villa. Until then, let them show you how wonderful Ireland can be.

Whatever adults may think, children don't care about the weather. A lot of them with pale complexions don't like the sun very much. Put them on the beach in jumpers and wellies and they will be just as happy as if the sun were shining. If they want to swim, give them wetsuits. On rainy days, there are historical sites, castles and chocolate factories like Skellig Chocolates to explore. Dingle, with its dolphin and aquarium is as interesting on dull days as on sunny ones.

After long days of rural adventures, the children come in the door hungry and eat full meals. You realise they're finally behaving the way children are supposed to. And you relax in the evenings because the children are so exhausted they're not able for anything more than a story and bed.

And please don't tell me that the Italians and Spanish are kinder to children than the Irish. I can only speak for Kerry but I'm sure the same is true around the country: if you make the effort to explore your own island you'll be rewarded by people who really appreciate your custom. This is an appalling tourist season from the point of view outsiders coming in.

So while giving your children a taste of real childhood in rural Ireland, you can also help support one of our most important industries. Ireland is expensive - but when you consider the accessibility, the sheer awesome power of relatively unspoilt nature, as well as the personal touch and friendliness of the locals, you won't get better value anywhere. And there are no tense airport delays. Just jump in the car and go.