Sir, – Reading the print edition of The Irish Times, some of the newsprint migrated to my hands and then, unexpectedly, transferred to my bespoke Charvet shirt and Gucci chinos. Following painful ablutions, I managed to remove the offending ink from my hands but alas, despite laborious laundering, my valuable vestments still bore an inky residue and are now reduced to gardening duty. The effect on me was traumatic.
Later, more suitably attired, I returned to the offending newspaper where careful examination failed to reveal any notice warning unsuspecting readers of the hidden dangers associated with the print edition. How was I to know?
I am willing, in lieu of the inevitable punitive damages, to accept a lifetime subscription to the much safer online edition. – Yours, etc,
TERRY TREANOR,
Portmarnock, Co Dublin.