Madam, - My New Year resolutions are as follows:
I will not go birdwatching in Colombia.
I will arrive in time for meetings and pay close attention to matters discussed.
I will not mug the elderly for their pension money.
I will honour any promises I make to the bereaved.
I will personally take responsibility for my Department's PR and communications, with the aid of my already ample full-time staff.
Out of respect for PAYE workers I will willingly pay my share of tax to the Revenue, thereby eliminating the unacceptable cost of tribunals to legitimate taxpayers.
I will refrain from threatening to sue people for telling the truth about me.
Finally, I do solemnly swear to desist from insulting the intelligence of the people of this State by resorting to arrogance, bluster and bullshit to defend my wrong-doing. So help me God. - Yours, etc.,
DERMOT CASEY, Holy Cross, Thurles, Co Tipperary.