GOP Smacked: Simon Carswell’s Republican convention diary

No Cruz control

There was a joke on the Republican campaign trail this year about Texas senator

Ted Cruz

, a man who has made a career of making enemies in the American political establishment: “Why do people take an instant dislike to Cruz? It saves time.”

In a year when campaign language has stretched the bounds of propriety, the reaction to Cruz kicking over the drinks table at Donald Trump’s party broke new ground.

Long-time Trump ally Roger Stone called Cruz a "dumb son of a b*tch" and a "despicable human being" as he left the convention after Wednesday night's drama.

Republican Pete King, a solid Irish-American, called Cruz, in no particular order, "a f**k", "an a**hole", "a fraud", "a liar" and "self-centred". The media-coined "Year of the Outsider" in American politics is fast becoming the "Year of the Asterix".

Counting on Pence

Talk to people on Capitol Hill about Trump’s running mate, Indiana governor and former congressman

Mike Pence

, and they are not exactly complimentary. “Mile wide, inch deep,” said one staffer.

“Thinks of himself as a great political thinker,” said another.

Many, though, speak of him being a likeable figure during his time in Washington. He performed that role well in his acceptance speech on Wednesday night by bringing lighter moments to an angry post-Cruz convention floor.

“He’s [Trump] a man known for a large personality, a colourful style and lots of charisma,” said Pence. “And so I guess he was just looking for some balance on the ticket.”

In a rare moment of self-deprecation for the Trump ticket, the grandson of a Co Sligo man joked: “For those of you who don’t know me, which is most of you.”

Quote of the day

“I’m not in the habit of supporting people who attack my wife and attack my father” – Ted Cruz at a morning-after briefing explaining his refusal to endorse Trump in his convention speech on Wednesday night.

1 – The number of the day

The number of times Cruz mentioned Trump in his speech – he only just congratulated him on winning the Republican presidential nomination.

Ill feeling abounds

Adding to the end-of-days feel of this dystopian convention, about a dozen Californian delegates were struck down with norovirus. The illness causes vomiting and diarrhoea, and spreads explosively through people in confined places, leading one observer here in Cleveland to note that this convention is for some “literally a sh*t show.”

Press restraint

Reporting in Cleveland has not been without its risks. Buzzfeed’s

John Stanton

, a big fan of Irish whiskey and tattoos, was wrestled to the ground by security at his own outlet’s convention on Tuesday night, Politico reported, when he tried to ask former New York City mayor

Rudy Giuliani

a question. Stanton is a 6ft former bouncer.