Cookery, comedy and (of course) Craig in store

Whereas last year RTÉ celebrated its past, now it looks to the future – and it’s not all bad

AFTER AN anniversary year recounting how it shaped the 20th century, RTÉ now has its eyes set on the future.

“In this digital age there is no such thing as an Irish television market,” asserts RTÉ’s managing director of television Glen Killane in the press release for the new schedule. He goes on to assert that RTÉ is holding its own within this brave new world. This futuristic vision will no doubt be fleshed out by another TV50 production, The Future of Television, in which Miriam O’Callaghan analyses whether there will soon be rocket cars and robot butlers in Montrose.

And in some respects the future does look bright. There’s a third series of Love/Hate, a darkly human drama as good as anything made internationally, while new crime series The Fall shows that the station isn’t neglecting drama (there are also quality imports like Homeland and Mad Men to contend with).

Then there’s Irish Pictorial Weekly, a satirical sketch show, bravely echoing Hall’s Pictorial Weekly in its title, which was trialled with two funny radio specials.

On the factual side, concerned telly psychologist David Coleman is making a welcome return with Bullyproof, a three-part series exploring teen bullying.

John Lonergan’s School Principles sees the former governor of Mountjoy exploring when the education system fails, while Inside the Department, a fly-on-the-wall documentary about the Minister for Education and his team, has the potential to be either a fascinatingly honest exposé or a fascinatingly micromanaged piece of spin.

The excellent arts magazine The Works is back but will probably be aired on alternate full moons (it was scheduled far too late in its first season).

Luckily there are plenty of cookery programmes earlier in the day. Since the Famine, the Irish can’t get enough of inedible, scentless moving pictures of food. Likeable scamp Donal Skehan returns on Kitchen Hero, Neven Maguire appears on Neven Maguire: Home Chef and Dylan McGrath oversees gladiatorial cookery on Masterchef.

Added to these staples are cookery programmes with a twist. There’s the horrifically titled Richard’s Random Acts of Kind-Dish in which Richard Corrigan terrifies punters with meals in a “flash mob” style, and Rachel Allen’s Cake Diaries.

Celebrity Bainisteor, the programme in which minor celebrities compete to manage local GAA teams, also has “a new twist”: celebrities now compete against another from “their own world”. “Celebrity Traveller” (RTÉ’s words) Paddy Doherty takes on celebrity progeny (my words) Calum Best, while Brian Ormond competes against his tele-wife Pippa O’Connor.

And there are other familiar faces. Craig Doyle who, like the poor, will always be with us, returns with Craig Doyle Live.

Gay Byrne gazes adoringly at the likes of Mary McAleese on philosophical hot-air vent The Meaning of Life, while Zig and Zag present a bloopers show called Superbloopers (Mediocrebloopers was probably already taken).

The most ominous new phenomenon, however, is Format Farm, a self-conscious act of television hackery in which RTÉ showcases Alan Partridgesque pilots they hope to sell internationally.

These include Baptism of Hire, in which a real employee is subjected to “ridiculous and madcap . . . office pranks” and Six in the City in which three couples vie to host the “biggest, most rollicking, best night out on the tiles”.

I can’t wait.