Mortified by your imperfect feet? This might be a comfort

WARNING: The following contains descriptions of imperfect feet. If you are mortified by your own trotters, you might find this a comfort but if you have a “thing” about feet, maybe best to give this a miss and go straight to Ross O’Carroll Kelly.

Right then! Every now and then – perhaps twice a decade – I decide (once again) to take up yoga because I yearn for the smug-arse benefits that yoga-types seem to enjoy: to wit, a calm disposition, freedom from insomnia, a willingness to eat sugar-free cake, and (what I really want) long, lean thighs.

But for various reasons – primarily the bone-grinding boredom - I never stick with it. Recently, though, I’ve realised that because of my age (advanced) I need to be doing weight-bearing exercise. Also, I have “found” a lovely instructor. But there’s still an impediment – and that is the state of my awful, awful feet.

Because I’ve worn ill-fitting high heels since the age of 15, my toes are a bit out of whack, they sort of go their own way, meandering in all kinds of direction. To be honest, my feet remind me of two random assortment of small parsnips, wrapped in cling-film.

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Traumatised

As a result I’ve been afraid to do a yoga class in case the misfortunate people around me are traumatised by my feet. The obvious solution would be to wear socks but in yoga, socks are a big no-no and the bare foot is almost fetished. Bareness “earths” you, “grounds” you, that sort of lark.

Also, more prosaically, you could slip in socks and go barrelling into the person next to you, knocking them out of Warrior One and perhaps starting a domino effect, quickly felling the entire class. (And no disrespect, but I can’t imagine them finding it funny.)

Which brings me to the wonders that are yoga socks! They’re very thin but have little silicone dots all over the soles so you stick to your mat and don’t skid. Each toe has its own tube (like a glove) so you can “engage” each digit individually (good for the aforementioned “grounding”.)

The socks also work for pilates and Barre, if they’re your thing. The fancy yoga gear sites sell them but a quick trawl on the internet has them for far cheaper. Either way, they’ve dialled down my shame and changed my life dramatically for the better.