Big Brother returns, as cynical and airheaded as ever

It would appear that Big Brother (Virgin Media One, Sunday, 9pm) is the new Eurovision Song Contest. Irish people used to win it all the time – now we’re nowhere to be seen. Perhaps that’s why the return of the original reality series after a five-year absence makes for such strange viewing on Virgin Media. Presenters AJ Odudu and Will Best bang on about how BB has taken over the entire ITV network – presumably unaware it’s also beaming across the Irish Sea. And then, as the final credits roll, they invite us to switch to something called “ITV X” – which sounds like ITV with bonus Elon Musk. Not that it matters: you can’t watch it here anyway.

In the run-up, there has been speculation ITV would include one Irish participant. Alas, those hopes are dashed: it’s an all-UK affair, which will surely impact on ratings here. What is also likely to impinge on viewership is the staidness of the Big Brother formula. When Channel 5 cancelled the show in 2018, it was widely agreed BB had run its course. Now, for reasons best known to itself, ITV is taking out of deep freeze. It was probably either that or beg Simon Cowell to bring back X Factor.

A lot of reality television has passed under the bridge since Big Brother originally aired in 2000. Back then, the series was regarded as a serious inquiry into human behaviour. Two decades on, having passed from Channel 4 to Channel 5 and to ITV (and, erm, Virgin Media), the franchise has entered what can only be described as the Great Dumbdown.

ITV has retooled the house. In the shadow of Wembley Stadium, it’s a cross between the Teletubby Mansion and the Red Room from Twin Peaks. The contestants have meanwhile seemingly been chosen on the basis of possessing one or two easily identifiable attributes. So there’s a Welsh one, a gay Welsh one, a Liverpool one and two posh ones. Only one of the posh housemates grew up on a council estate and modelled his accent on Downton Abbey. The other is actually posh and thinks Boris Johnson should be God Emperor of Blighty.

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So it’s as cynical and airheaded as 20 years ago. In fact, it’s remarkable how little has changed. The new hosts are chipper rather than bug-eyed enthusiastic in the style of original presenter Davina McCall. Oh, and tonight’s live season opener isn’t all that live: it was recorded on Saturday night, thus allowing ITV pad out the 90-minute broadcast with wee-hours footage from inside the house.

Yet in its essence, Big Brother endures. There are still lots of mind games. Olivia (Scottish, a dancer) learns she is up for elimination on Friday after Jenkin (Welsh, gay) names her as the cohabitee with whom he has failed to connect. However, in the diary room, she is told that if she succeeds in not placing last in a “most exciting housemate” contest, she will be immune from ejection.

The producers have promised a “raw, hands-off” filming style. They will have to square that with the obligation to protect contestants from the psychological strain of their time in their house and the overnight fame/notoriety they will accumulate while sealed off from the world. That’s a tricky balancing act. On the evidence of an underwhelming launch night, you have to wonder if it’s worth the effort.