Stalemate follows a tragedy

Alan Dunlop's marriage was on the verge of collapse when he got involved with Eileen. He had one child by his marriage, a boy named David, who was then in his teens. Alan lived in a small west of Ireland town, and Eileen in another larger town some 30 miles away. Alan offered to leave his family and move in with his new girlfriend, but she refused, saying she didn't want him to split up his family.

The relationship had been going on for several years when Eileen became pregnant. The birth finally finished off his marriage. Despite this, he maintained a good relationship with his wife and regular contact with his son.

About a month after she had given birth to his daughter, Annie, Alan again offered to set up house with Eileen, but she turned him down. This marked the beginning of the end of their relationship, but he maintained contact with his daughter and visited her twice a week. Alan was unemployed and money was a problem, but he paid a small weekly sum in maintenance. Eileen told him there was no problem with access, but resisted making a definite arrangement.

When their daughter was about a year old, Alan got weekly access on a Thursday for four hours, but under the mother's supervision. Three months later they went back to court and he got increased access, from 10 a.m. until 6 p.m., with permission to take the child out of the house. He hoped they could build up to overnights, and Eileen agreed. Their relationship was by now fairly civil.

Just before Annie's second birthday, Eileen died suddenly in an accident. Alan was away that weekend and on his return heard the news and that Annie was being cared for by Eileen's sister, Margaret. Alan phoned and asked about Annie and was told she was fine. He decided not to do anything until he had had an appropriate opportunity to discuss the situation with Margaret.

The funeral over, Alan made arrangements to take his daughter out as usual the next week, or so he thought. But on arrival at Margaret's house, he was accused of being insensitive for wanting to take the child out with her mother just dead. He asked Margaret where she envisaged Annie would live. "Here, of course," she said.

The situation has not changed after more than a year. Alan's access has continued as before, but he has still had no overnights with his daughter. Alan has a good job now and is more than willing to take Annie home and look after her on a full-time basis. He believes that this would be the right thing. He is still awaiting a hearing of his application for custody and does not know what his chances are.

The more time Annie spends with her aunt Margaret, the less chance there is that a court will overturn the status quo. Meanwhile, the system grinds on, as though creating the conditions where the maintenance of the present situation becomes a foregone conclusion.