The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read: A non-judgmental understanding of how we, as humans, work

In a time when self-consciousness is ripe, generalised anxiety is everywhere and mental ill-health seems to occupy the minds of almost everyone, being assured by a psychotherapist that “you are acceptable just as you are, right now” can only help provide a soothing, peaceful balm. From the author of the million-copy international bestselling The Book You Wish Your Parents Had Read, psychotherapist Philippa Perry (the spouse of Grayson Perry, as those of a certain vintage will know) has collated decades of personal and professional research into her latest book, The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read *(and maybe a few you don’t) with the hopes of providing an ounce of relief and connection to those feeling a little worse for wear inside their mind.

Peppered throughout with questions from Perry’s own Observer agony aunt column (she dedicates this book to those who are “brave enough” to share their problems with her) she tackles worries around friends, jobs and isolation, among others, in a way that feels fresh, approachable and not theoretically dense. “Reprogramming yourself from ‘everyone is horrible’ to ‘everyone is lovely’ can make the biggest difference in your life,” she writes. “Now, repeat after me: ‘Everyone is interesting and attractive including you and me and we are all very pleased to see each other.’ It will take practice if you have acclimatised to ‘everyone is not worth the effort’ because you’ve practised that. Time to upgrade to your next self-fulfilling prophecy. We only have one life (apparently) — don’t be a fruit fly.”

The four chapters in the book — how we live, how we argue, how we change and how we find contentment — merge at the end to create a full, non-judgmental understanding of how we, as humans, work. Also, the final chapter covers the danger of therapy-speak (made famous when Jonah Hill weaponised obsession and control under the guise of not feeling well) in a way that is long needed in internet culture.

For many reasons, I would struggle to find someone who wouldn’t benefit from Perry’s book. Most especially, given the high-octane and stressful way in which we live now. For those struggling, or indeed those who have struggled, The Book You Want Everyone You Love* To Read meets you where you are, prompting realisations and insights that have, until now, existed just beyond your awareness. I am grateful for it, and I imagine you will be too.