Following on from last week's tailpiece my thanks to an anarchic reader (yes, there are readers out there) who, having played mind games on many work performance evaluations, offers some interpretations of the type of interchangeable scribblings commonly used to describe the imagined personal qualities and/or interpersonal skills (oops, falling into the trap myself) of employees. Try these on for size.

Has leadership qualities: a loud voice. Conscien- tious and careful: scared. Unlimited potential: will stick with us until retirement. Quick thinking: offers plausible excuses for major errors. Enjoys job: needs more work. Unusually loyal: wanted by no-one else. Sound judgement: remarkably lucky. A keen analyst: thoroughly confused. Uses resources well: delegates everything. Average: not too bright. Slightly below average: dense. Spends extra hours on the job: miserable home life. Thoroughly professional attitude: insufferable snob. A logical mind: find someone else to do the job. Alert to company trends: the office gossip.Exceptionally well qualified: has committed no major blunders to date. Co-operative with superiors: skin problem from forelock touching.Will go far: related to management. Should go far: please....

Finally here's one performance notation for that strutting peacock of a managing headmaster of my acquaintance. Strong on pastoral care: just so long as the sheep don't bleat.