Ireland fullback Geordan Murphy has admitted being a touch nervous ahead of Saturday's World Cup warm-up match against Scotland, as he prepares to relive the most painful moment of his career and secure his place in the 30-man squad for France.
Murphy was left devastated when a broken leg sustained at Murrayfield in the final build-up match to Australia four years ago ruled him out of the tournament.
The pain was intensified by predictions the Leicester fullback, who was still a relatively unknown quantity to Ireland's Test rivals, was ready to take the World Cup by storm.
Sensational form during the 2003 Six Nations saw him voted Ireland's player of the season by rugby writers, but the chance to justify the acclaim on the biggest stage of all was cruelly snatched away.
Landing awkwardly after being tackled by Mike Blair, Murphy suffered a compound fracture of his left tibia to end his World Cup before it had even started. On Saturday the Leicester back returns to Edinburgh burdened by the events of four years ago and the knowledge he needs a strong performance to guarantee his place in France next month.
"When the team was announced and I knew I was going to be going back to Murrayfield I felt a little bit nervous and thought a bit about what happened," he said. "I've been to Edinburgh since then in this year's Six Nations. I didn't play but I had a walk around the pitch beforehand and it was a sunny day, much like four years ago.
"I'll be nervous on the day for several reasons. It's the last trial before the squad is picked.
"There are a lot of places up for grabs and a lot of guys who are keen to put in good performances to get themselves into the World Cup squad.
"On top of that I have the memory of breaking my leg four years ago in my head. I just have to get on with it really and once the game starts it will be forgotten."
Murphy's outstanding natural talent made him one of the first names on Ireland's team sheet until around 18 months ago when his increasingly erratic form saw him drop behind Girvan Dempsey in the pecking order last autumn. Murphy has found himself on the outside looking in ever since.
A hamstring injury to Brian O'Driscoll resulted in his return against France in this year's Six Nations but a crucial missed tackle on Raphael Ibanez tarnished his display.
Ibanez scored as a result of his defensive frailty that day and the French triumphed just 20-17, leaving Murphy to reflect on a haunting moment that damaged his international prospects.
"I do replay that missed tackle on Ibanez in my mind. I was watching the ball carrier," he said. "I expected him to go outside and I stepped out, but he came inside. It was a big price to pay but that's the way it was.
"A lot of things happened in the game that contributed to losing it - we should have had it won quite early but didn't finish it off and they hit back.
"I don't think I was made the scapegoat. I made a mistake and hold my hands to that. There were fine lines between the selection of players at the time.
"I was covering for injury in the game and wasn't supposed to be playing. If you make an error when you're struggling to hold down your position then that's it."
Murphy's confidence suffered as a result of being dropped heading into the Six Nations but his blistering form during Leicester's double winning season ensured it did not desert him completely.
"Events like that do knock your confidence," he said, "But I was lucky that when things were going well at my club Leicester, so in effect I was immediately back on the horse."
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