Frank McNally on A History of Northern Ireland in 100 Euphemisms

An Irishman’s Diary

“Seamless technological solutions”. Getty Images

“Seamless technological solutions”. Getty Images

 

 1.The Irish Problem

2. The North

3. The South

4. The Troubles

5. The Crossness

6. The Clones Affray

7. B Specials

8. Unapproved Road

9. Concession Road

10. The Monaghan Salient

11. Drummully Polyp

12. Éire

13. The Six Counties

14. The Wee North

15. The Black North

16. The Occupied Territories

17. Our Wee Country

18. Ulster

19. The Province

20. The Mainland

21. Fenian

22. Taig

23: Themmuns

24. Black Orangemen

25. Big House Unionist

26. Lundy

27. A cold house for Catholics

28. “The Northern Disease […] at the present […] safely confined in its Ulster quarantine.” (George O’Brien, 1936)

29. Norn Iron

30. The dreary steeples of Fermanagh and Tyrone

31. Puckoon

32. The Patriot Game

33. Border Campaign

34. Only our rivers run free

35. Nordies

36. Mexicans

37. El Paso

38. P O’Neill

39. “Óglaigh na hÉireann”

40. Officials & Provisionals

41. We will not stand by

42. Vanguard

43. Free Derry

44. Free Stater

45. Free Presbyterian

46. The Men Behind the Wire

47. Romper rooms

48. The disappeared

49. Bandit Country

50. “Soldiers briefly entered the Republic due to a

map-reading error.”

51. Stroke City

52. Foyleside

53. Tiocfaidh ár lá

54. Stoops

55. The Condom Train

56. The Peace Train

57. A suspect device on the line near Newry

58. Q. Are you Catholic or Protestant? A. I’m an atheist, thank God.

59. Q. A Catholic atheist or a Protestant atheist?

60. On the blanket

61. Haitch Blocks

62. Aitch Blocks

63. “It’s gonna happen, happen, happens all the time/It’s gonna happen, happen, till you change your mind”.

64. As British as Finchley

65. A failed political entity

66. Third Force

67. Legitimate target

68. “Loyal”

69. Peter the Punt

70. Slab.

71. “I pondered on the churches of England and Rome/Hadn’t paid the rent for my spiritual home.”

72. Walk the Queen’s Highway

73. Traditional route to church

74. Peace wall

75. Garda X

76. Stakeknife

77. Humespeak

78. Creative ambiguity

79. Confidence Building

80. Sunningdale for Slow Learners

81. “I feel the hand of history on my shoulder.”

82. “I hate to leave” (George Mitchell)

83. Never! Never! Never! Never! (Oh, all right)

84. The Chuckle Brothers

85. They haven’t gone away, you know

86. “I have not been and am not a member of the IRA”

87. Put beyond use in the presence of two

clergymen.

88. Whataboutery.

89. Curry My Yoghurt

90. The Derry Girls blackboard

91. Our Precious Union

92. Backstop

93. Seamless technological solutions

94. Get Brexit Done

95. Oven-Ready Deal

96. The Northern Ireland Protocol

97. “Boris Johnson has assured unionists…”

98. Feasibility studies for a proposed bridge across the Irish Sea

99. The Lanark Way interface

100. “They are an embarrassment to Northern Ireland and only serve to take the focus off the real law breakers…”

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