Bride on: ‘Start by having the first fight that any engaged couple has’

“Pop!” What’s that? That’s the sound of the final celebratory bottle of bubbly. You’ve been in a dreamlike state ever since that special moment. You’ve bubbled, brunched and had the bash – the engagement bash that is.

You and your partner are sure you’re officially the most loved-up couple that has ever graced this planet – Romeo and Juliet ain’t got nothing on this love story. But now, it’s time to remove those rose-tinted glasses.

If you have even peeked into the crazy word that is wedding planning, you’ll know there is so much to think about and so many decisions to make. Haven’t heard of “Pantone colour of the year 2017”? You will soon. So where do you start? Well, you’ll start by having the first fight that any engaged couple experiences. Don’t worry, it’s totally normal, it happens to everybody.

Ours started post-invite list and pre-budget decision. Little word of advice, start with the budget.

“Oh yes, we want a three-day spectacular with 250 of our closest friends and family, a 12-strong bridal party, two bands, three DJs and a partridge in a pear tree . . .” A couple of phone calls, a little bit of Googling and some old-fashioned calculations later, and we realised we would be paying off this wedding literally until death do us part.

Back to the drawing board we went. We scrapped everything we thought we knew and went back to basics. What came out of this were three questions that every couple should ask themselves in the beginning of the planning process: what are the most important things you want for your wedding?

What is going to make this day special for you?

And finally, what don’t you want to be worrying about in the lead-up to this momentous occasion?

The most important things we want to think about for our wedding are: keeping our guests relaxed, fed and plentifully watered, this will help us enjoy our day. What is going to make this day special for us? Having the slightly larger and less than norm bridal party (yes, there’s going to be 12, eeek). And what don’t we want to be worrying about in the lead-up to the wedding? Flowers. Just not our cup of tea. They look pretty and then they die. So sad. And even more, they cost an absolute bomb.

When you can answer these questions, you can begin the arduous process of getting that budget in place. Without fighting . . . well maybe a little bit of fighting, but sure then you get to make up.

Next week: The Planning (venue, food, decor)