The Spider-Man: Far From Home trailer takes spoiler paranoia to the point of hysteria

Spidey orders you not to watch unless you’ve seen Endgame. Don’t tell us what to do, Parker

Tom Holland warns us there are ‘serious spoilers’ ahead

The trailer for Spider-Man: Far From Home begins with a sombre introduction from either Peter Parker or the actor who plays him.

In the voice that newsreaders use when announcing a death, Tom Holland orders punters who haven't yet seen Avengers: Endgame to stop watching now. There are, you see, "serious spoilers" ahead.

Don’t tell me what to do, Parker. I’ll watch whatever the heck I like. Obviously, I have seen Endgame, but I’d watch the trailer even if I hadn’t. So there. This spoiler paranoia is bordering on hysteria.

We’ll regard the preceding paragraph as a warning – after all, if the box office figures are to be credited, even your goldfish has seen Endgame – and confirm that this Spiderman trailer is awash with weepy references to Iron Man’s recent demise.

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Official trailer for Spider-Man: Far From Home with Tom Holland in the lead role. Video: Sony Pictures Entertainment

We should all have Marvel’s problems. With Endgame now the second-highest grossing film of all time (and with the number one spot in its sights), the studio can justifiably prepare for a lap of honour. But they have just lost one of their juiciest assets. The trailer acknowledges this by making two references to Spider-Man as the “new Iron Man”.

I knew Iron Man. I worked with Iron Man. You, Spider-Man, are no ... Actually Spider-Man: Homecoming, the 2017 reboot, was an absolute delight that deftly avoided the Marvel Comics Universe’s more pompous inclinations. It was as much a high-school movie as an action flick and all the better for that. I’m okay with him being the new anybody.

Early teasers for Spider-Man: Far From Home suggested more of the same, but abroad. The film looks to be closer to the 2004 sex comedy Eurotrip than anything from the Marvel arsenal.

Disappointingly, the new trailer suggests there will be more superhero stuff in the superhero film than contrarians such as your current observer were hoping for.

We do, however, get to see a bit of London and a bit of Venice. In one of those cities, Nick Fury introduces Spider-Man to a helpful individual from another dimension called Mysterio. It looks as if this humourless chap is here to help the team defeat a giant water creature set on chewing up Tower Bridge.

Hang on a moment. If you have never read a silver-age Spider-Man comic then read no more of this review. There are serious spoilers ahead.

Mysterio was the ruthless villain best known for wearing a fishbowl on his head. Expect Jake Gyllenhaal (for it is he) to turn nasty before the close.

Enthusiasts will also note that MJ (Zendaya) apparently knows Parker’s secret identity and that new, lively Aunt May (Marisa Tomei) is less in evidence than we might have liked.

Much of the chatter will, however, focus on one brief, gentlemanly nod towards another studio’s Spidey-property. Last year, Sony’s Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse got rave reviews, made a fortune and won the Oscar for best animated feature.

“You’re saying there’s a multi-verse!” Spider-Man says in the trailer. We call that sporting.