Right, you know the post-major Golf Masters tradition by now so let's get it over with: five managers transferred Tiger Woods . . . hope you're sitting comfortably . . . out of their teams on the eve of the US Masters. We tried but failed to contact four of the five. We could allege they'd taken their phones off the hook for fear they'd get a phone call from Golf Masters HQ. In fairness two of the four did very nicely indeed at the US Masters with other line-ups giving them a highly respectable placing in the weekly leaderboard, but still: Alan (Greystones, Wicklow), Michael (Newbridge, Kildare), Tom (Clonlara, Clare) and John (Cork City) all we can say is (a) why, oh why, and (b) there's a polo shirt in the post.

Manager number five. "Hello David McDermott of Beaumont, Dublin - Golf Masters here. We're giving out polo shirts to unfortunates who might possibly have transferred out Tiger Woods before the Masters." "Like me?" "Well, yes."

But at that point David was able to turn the tables on us. "Ah, but did you see who I bought," he asked. "No - haven't checked yet." "I kicked Tiger and Corey Pavin out, because he wasn't playing, and brought in Duval and Langer, so I hit the bar." "You've just completely ruined our story." He did more than hit the bar, he scored. Firstly, Duval finished second and Langer joint sixth, secondly - over to you David. "Do you want to know the real reason I sold Tiger? I inadvertently entered the same team twice, Santry Woods and Nicole's Kidding so there was no point having two teams the same. So one of the two had Tiger, the other had Duval and Langer. Do I still get a polo shirt?" Go on then. One-nil to David McDermott.

P.S. We'd love to offer a polo shirt to all the managers who transferred Woods into their teams last week but you can't have one because there are 118 of you (bringing his Golf Masters team membership total to 2,549).