IF YOU DO THAT one more time, there will be no toys for Christmas. Right, that's it, where is the telephone book? I'm ringing Santy now."

Does this sound familiar? Maybe you save money on the phone call and shout up the chimney to him!

Christmas, like Easter and birthday celebrations, is a difficult time for parents. The rules that have been established during the rest of the year have a tendency to disintegrate. Excessive junk food, the break in routine, the bombardment parents endure from the media to buy useless toys at highly inflated prices, and the inevitable excitement of the event all conspire to create a tension which can lead to tears and frustration. But it does not have to end up this way.

First, it is advisable to avoid making threats about Santa over unco-operative behaviour from your child. In reality, this is undermining your authority when it comes to giving instructions. For most families, Santa arrives regardless of what has gone on before. If parents play the "Santa not coming" card too often, the child will learn to disregard other instructions.

If you must make threats, it is best to make ones which can be followed through on the same day. Avoid making threats entirely if you are not willing to carry them out.

Christmas is also a time of year when parents are held to ransom by the endless array of toys which flood the TV screens and make their way through your letter boxes in catalogues.

Children are well positioned to announce what toys they want - very few come in at under £40. It is a strange world we live in when last year there was frenzied buying for dolls that urinate. This year shoppers are being advised to buy early for the doll that defecates!

Parents will participate in this charade for fear that their child will feel left out. Those with children of footballing age will feel similarly compelled to buy cheaply made soccer jerseys at exorbitant prices.

My advice to you is to say STOP. Children have far too much in this over-indulged era of ours; it is excess and not deprivation that leads to more difficult behaviour problems with children.

Instead of clearing your conscience by buying the most expensive item your child requests, firstly set a limit on how much your are prepared to spend. Encourage your children to make a list of items they would like for Christmas and inform them that Santa will be bringing them one listed item each. (By the time you read this article it may be too late, but keep it in mind for next year.

There is no doubt that diet has a significant effect on behaviour. Foods containing caffeine, E preservatives and sugar can have the most dramatic effect on a child's mood. Parents must be extra vigilant at Christmas when there is so much rich and potentially stimulating food around. Selection boxes, chocolates, cola drinks and biscuits are synonymous with the Christmas season. Even if you limit access to them in your own home, they will undoubtedly be available when you visit friends.

While one must accept that the household rules become relaxed during the holiday season, it is important to ensure that children do not become overly stimulated by consuming junk food. Try to have plenty of fruit available and drinks that are free of stimulants. Sparkling water mixed with fruit juice is a refreshing alternative.

When visiting friends and relatives let your child know that they will only be allowed to eat food that will not get them over-excited. If it is not possible to prevent access to junk food, at least-try to keep consumption to a minimum.

Many parents are unable to match a child's 6 a.m. excitement on Christmas Day. Indeed, they may not have reached their beds much before the enthusiastic wake-up call. Lack of sleep can cause parents to be irritable.

You might want to consider locking the sitting-room door (assuming that is where presents are left) until later in the morning. Explain to the children well in advance that the door will only be opened at a time that suits all the family - this should not dampen the magic too much and will help parents to keep up with the excitement of the day through to bedtime.

Another idea is to keep presents a child may receive from relatives and friends until after Christmas. So much happens both in the build-up and on the actual day, parents often report that the rest of the holiday period is a trial - once the sought-after Christmas toys cease to be interesting or are broken.

If you know who will be giving your children presents, ask them to give ones that will keep them occupied during the long days of the post-Christmas period; craft sets, painting and colouring books, word games, and construction kits are all gifts that parents will be delighted to see their children receive. The down side is that you, the parent, will probably be expected to help create some of the new masterpieces!

It is also worthwhile planning to get out for a walk with the children each day after Christmas - weather permitting, of course. This will enable children to run off the abundance of energy stored up through the excitement of the festive season.

Parents may find it more difficult to keep their older children busy during the post-Christmas period. They will have outgrown toys and your are likely to be concerned at the amount of time they are spending on computer games. It is likely that you will have to limit access to the computer at some point.

Why not set up some household tasks for your pre- and early-teen children? Weeding the garden, clearing out closets, painting a room or moving furniture could be projects to keep this age group engaged.

IF you were so inclined, you might consider setting up a five-a-side sports tournament in your area. Basketball seems popular at the moment, but any sport will do. If there are no parents available to organise the tournament, perhaps some of the older teenagers might help out.

Finally, Christmas can sometimes mark the passing of milestones for children - parents will make comparisons to how their child was doing the previous Christmas. Perhaps the hardest of these transitions for parents to understand is when the child enters adolescence. This stage is often marked by moodiness and aloofness; parents may fee disappointed that the child around whom the previous Christmas revolved does not seem to be interested this year.

No guilt required here - it is simply part of your child's development. Avoid highlighting the lack of enthusiasm, encourage participation and do not be disappointed if your good will is not reciprocated.