Rooney has one foot in the grave, according to Sky News

TV View / Mary Hannigan : Jose Mourinho admitted to feeling unloved on Saturday, insisting that people just put Chelsea's success…

TV View / Mary Hannigan: Jose Mourinho admitted to feeling unloved on Saturday, insisting that people just put Chelsea's success down to their bountiful loot (as Gary Lineker once asked him: "What attracted you to a club owned by a billionaire?"), claiming that he doesn't get credit for his achievements, that the universal response to those achievements is a shrug of indifference, while someone else is put in the spotlight.

Fortunately, Jose was otherwise engaged at full-time at Stamford Bridge, busy chucking bling at the Chelsea faithful, so he'd not have seen the Sky News response to Chelsea retaining their Premiership crown:

BREAKING NEWS: WAYNE ROONEY STRETCHERED OFF AGAINST CHELSEA.

There followed a couple of hours of the kind of reporting that makes us love Sky News so. Don't get us wrong, like Charles Clarke and John Prescott we belong to that group of folk who believe a great footballer's fractured metatarsal is more worthy of headlines than, say, a home secretary forgetting to deport murderers or a deputy prime minister getting up to all sorts in Whitehall lifts.

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It's just, on days like these, Sky News becomes Sky No News (Just Speculation). Ask Wendy Russell-Rayner. She's a foot specialist and hardly had Wayne hit the deck when Sky had her on the phone asking her if he'd be fit for the World Cup.

By then, Wendy didn't know if he'd broken his leg in 164 places or was just troubled by an ingrown toenail.

She likes to actually see a patient and examine the injury before she diagnoses the problem and recommends treatment - call her quirky, that's just how she is.

"What are the kinds of injuries that would still enable him to get back and play for England in six weeks," Nick Powell asked her.

"Um," she replied, thinking "a sprained thumb, a swollen lip, a nick from shaving, and suchlike."

Over to Angela Corpe at Stamford Bridge.

"The whisper we're hearing from the dressing-room is that it's not quite as serious as it might have first seemed, but that hasn't been confirmed yet," she said, only able to confirm that Rooney had suffered an injury and there was widespread concern about him. Go 'way.

"You had a very brief word with Sven Goran Eriksson as he left Stamford Bridge. What did you get out of him?" asked Nick.

"Well, not an awful lot, to be perfectly honest," said Angela.

"Did he say anything about Rooney?"

"Well, I'm guessing he probably didn't even know, he left the stadium early, but perhaps he did, perhaps he was told on the way out."

Or perhaps he wasn't. We could only speculate.

Next on the phone, Matt Lawton of the Daily Mail.

"Can England win the World Cup without Rooney?" asked Nick, gravely.

"I'm not sure they can win it with him," replied Matt.

That's the last time Sky News will ring him up.

David Mellor, the former Tory MP and lifelong Chelsea fan who used to support Fulham, was next on the line.

"I hope I haven't been to the match where Chelsea won the Premier League and England lost the World Cup," he said, gravely.

Nick nodded, gravely.

That's the latest of several times Sky News will ring him up.

Meanwhile, back on Sky Sports, Ian Bolton was having a hard time with Alex Ferguson, who has just about recovered from the hysteria that followed David Beckham's 2002 broken metatarsal (and the non-hysteria that followed the same injury suffered by Gary Neville the same year).

"What part of his body has he actually hurt?" asked Bolton. We actually thought he was being funny, but he wasn't.

Ferguson, who had seen Rooney go down holding a foot and had seen the foot strapped up as Rooney was stretchered off, said: "It's his foot."

"Were you concerned when he first went down?" asked Bolton.

"Nae, ah was bloody thrilled," said Ferguson's face, by now turning a crimson shade of intense irritation.

A bad week, then, for English football.

Although Luiz Felipe Scolari's "No thanks" to the England job was, at least, good news for Ian Wright, who, on the day it appeared Big Phil would be Little Sven's successor, told ITV's lunchtime news: "However long we are in the wilderness I would prefer to see us in the wilderness for years with an English manager than win the World Cup with a foreigner."

Presumably, then, when Wright appears on the BBC come June he'll be decked out in Paraguay, Trinidad and Tobago and Sweden kits.

Well, Sven's not exactly a Cockney, is he?