NIAMH Bhreatnach's appearances at the teachers' conferences this year could earn her a new sobriquet - that of virtual minister. Given the somewhat ropey reception she received at last year's conferences - and since early retirement is still unresolved - she could resort to long-distance communication with her teachers this time around.

If she does, she could use the Department of Education's teleconferencing facility, installed to improve communications between the Dublin headquarters and the Athlone, Co Westmeath branch of the department.

The Minister recently used the new system to open a Limerick conference that she had hoped to attend but could not. And the response was very positive.

Being a virtual minister would, of course, have advantages. No exhausting travel. No meeting with the delegates. No need for the fixed smile or determined handshake. No need to get into the social scene before the nitty-gritty of labour relations rears its ugly head.

Better still, the surrealism of responding to an on-screen Minister might stymie some of the more hardened hecklers. Can one imagine Joe O'Toole of the INTO railing at a TV? And whatever about verbal responses, being virtually present would offer her real protection from the rotten tomatoes that frustrated teachers, waiting for an end to the early retirement saga, must surely be hoarding.