Male-only to mail-order...

Training for full-time, ordained ministry in any of the churches or religious orders is a demanding and time-consuming. Traditionally, the Jesuits have been the most demanding, with a seven-year training period. But the Holy Ghost Fathers at Kimmage Manor, Dublin, expect their students to spend a year in formation, two years studying philosophy, a year gaining experience on a mission field, and three years studying theology before ordination.In the Church of Ireland, students spend two to three years studying theology before ordination as a deacon, and another year of in-service training before becoming a priest; add three or four years previous study for a degree, and it can still work out at seven years' training.But there is another completely different world when it comes to the concept of "mail-only" ministry, or even "e-mail-only" ministry. For over 30 years, a number of "churches" in the United States has been offering ordination to all comers for a small fee and no study. At least one church in California is now offering instant ordination, without any questions or exams and without any fees, to anyone and everyone who visits its website.The Universal Life Church was established in Modesto, California, in 1959 by Bishop Kirby Hensley, who, at different times, has been a Baptist and a Pentecostalist, and admits that he has been baptised in a number of different churches. For many years he was illiterate, and once bought a 15 cents dictionary to bring with him to revival meetings, thinking it was a Bible and that it would impress others.Today, Hensley says he has put the Bible behind him: "To me, the Bible is something I refer back to. No part of it is in front of me, it's all behind me . . . it isn't for the man of today. It will hold you back." He has written his own Holy Bible for the 21st Century, and it's obvious from his writings that the ULC is not a Christian Church. His writings talk about God as both Mother Earth and Father Life, and he tells his ordained ministers: "The Universal Life Church does not interpret or set (sic) in judgment on your beliefs, creed, religion, race, color or sex."The author of Name It and Frame It?, Dr Steve Levicoff of the Institute of Religion and Law, sees ULC as the "grandfather of all degree and ordination mills." Hensley has been accused of setting up his church as a tax scheme, and ordaining others to help them avoid federal taxes. But he has won every major legal battle, including federal court challenges to his right to confer his honorary degrees of doctor of divinity.Anyone who visits the ULC website is invited to fill in his or her name and print out a personalised certificate of ordination signed by Hensley. And there's nothing, apart from Disney's copyright, to stop a visitor declaring his or her name is Mickey Mouse and ordaining the world's favourite cartoon character.A more glossy version of the ordination certificate is available by mail for $5 and comes with an ID card declaring the ordained minister "is legally authorizedto ordain new ministers into the Universal Life Church," but with a disclaimer saying the ULC "assumes no responsibility" for the actions of its ordained ministers.The ULC also offers its honorary DD for a contribution of $20. Other delightful sounding degree titles from ULC include doctor of metaphysics, doctor of motivation and doctor of immortality - and $5 certificates with special titles such as shaman, high priestess, yogi, and even sainthood.In the past, Hensley has claimed to have ordained more than 10 million people, including May West, Phyllis Diller, Barbara Stanwyck, Dan Rowan and Dick Martin of the Rowan and Martin Laugh-In, Hugh Heffner of Playboy, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones.Today competition for his niche in the market comes from two other self-styled churches operating from California, the American Fellowship Church and the Progressive Universal Life Church.The American Fellowship Church began life in Monterey as the Mother Earth Church, founded by Bishop Theodore Swenson, a former dean of students at the University of California, San Francisco. At first, he ordained anyone for $5 and conferred an honorary doctorate for a few dollars more. Swenson denied his church was founded to help some people gain tax benefits through religion, but he has a very good marketing ploy in a line of $35 books on tax advantages for ordained ministers.Perhaps the fistful of dollars earned from these activities persuaded him to move to Clint Eastwood's home town of Carmel, where the church was renamed the American Fellowship Church. Today, ordination costs $25, special titles such as deacon or bishop come with a certificate for $35, and an honorary DD costs $50. But Swenson knows a scam when he sees one, and his website warns: "We do not send orders COD. Due to the number of bad checks we receive, money orders will get faster treatment than checks."The Progressive Universal Life Church, based, appropriately, in Sacramento, has an elaborate and colourful website, with Pastor Jack J Stahl, DD, offering everything from a three-in-one package of a ministerial certificate, ordination and free wallet licence at $19.50 to a wide range of doctorates beginning at $75 for the DD and going on up to $295 for some of its PhDs.You can also buy a certificate for $30 giving you any one from a range of titles, including evangelist, rabbi, bishop, deacon, chaplain, pastor, priest, priestess (a mail-order priestess!), missionary or monk. Sainthood is a little less pricey at $20.The National Interfaith Seminary in St Paul, Minnesota, was founded by the Rev Dr Paula Sunray. It makes no claims to being a Christian or church-based seminary and points out in small type that it is "not a school or university. It is a congregation of the Universal Life Church."It offers a 16-week "basic ordination course" at the end of which candidates are ordained into the Universal Life Church and are told they may "perform weddings, baptisms, preach or teach, start a congregation or ordain other ministers." Why a Muslim or a Sikh graduating from a seminary in St Paul would want to be ordained to perform baptisms is not explained. Nor does Dr Sunray explain why her seminary charges $488 for ordination when ordination is available without charge on the Universal Life Church website.Despite Hensley's beliefs and the catch-all teachings of Sunray's seminary, some ordination mills linked with the Universal Life Church claim they are Christian churches or ministries. True Grace Ministries and the associated True Grace Ministries Christian Ministers' Association say they are integral parts ofthe Universal Life Church, but that they have a definite Christian connection.True Grace Ministries recommends ordination through the Universal Life Church website. However, it opens its membership only to those who have been ordained and accept Christ as their Lord and Saviour.Members of the True Grace association include the Rev Daniel Ostowski, who runs a ministry in Wausau, Wisconsin, with the delightful name of "Tattoos by Hoss", and the Rev Lee Salter, Archbishop of the Universal Life Church of Alabama, who encourages visitors to his website to have themselves ordained on the original ULC website.Salter also runs his own University of the Universal Life Church of Alabama, which offers at least six PhDs at no cost in a wide range of subjects, including metaphysical religion, holistic science and theocentric liberal arts. Because Alabama state law exempts religious and theological colleges from licensing regulations, these degrees are completely legitimate, even if they have no academic credibility. All you have to do is print them from the ULCA website, and Salter then invites you to fill in your own name, the date, and sign on the dotted line on his behalf.Other mail-order ministries and ordination services are offered by organisations claiming more explicitly Christian beliefs. World Christianship Ministries (WCM), based in Fresno, California, is run by the Rev D E McElroy, who describes himself as administrator and bishop. WCM, on the go for about 18 years, claims to have ordained ministers in each of the 50 states in the US and in 55 foreign countries, including Northern Ireland and the Republic of Ireland - although they are not named on their website.A big selling point for McElroy is his all-in-one packages which "give you a maximum amount of materials and information at a minimum offering." The Basic Ordination Package, costing $39, includes a certificate of ordination, a credit-card-size laminated, pocket ordination card, and a certificate giving you any one of the following titles: reverend, minister, pastor, evangelist, chaplain, missionary, elder, deacon, preacher, or independent bishop. After that, the ordination packets go up in price, from $62 to $82, $125, and, finally, $185. But from $82 on you get a free honorary doctorate (DD), which normally costs a whopping $39.United Christian Ministries International (UCMI), based in Columbia, Indiana, offers free ordination by email, but charges for anything more than ordination by email. They don't need to meet you face to face to lay hands on your head - all they require is that you accept Christ as your saviour, join UCMI, and make a statement of faith. To support their activities, they quote from a court ruling in favour of the Universal Life Church, but their website fails to name any individual involved in running this ordination mill.For $10 UCMI will send out a simple letter recording your ordination. For $30, they send out a signed and sealed certificate suitable for framing, along with a laminated ID card, a laminated "clergy" sign to display in your car, and a `Pastoral Oath Certificate', which is "also suitable for framing."UCMI also offers independent church charters at $20, and degrees in theology from $75 for an associate degree in pastoral ministry, Christian spiritual counselling, Biblical studies or Christian theology, to $185 for the PhD in divinity.In Texas, the Victory New Testament Fellowship International, founded by Donald Skelton, offers a $50 ordination package, including the usual framable ordination certificate and ID card. Spelling on the website may cause you to ask to what degree members of this fellowship are familiar with the New Testament - one presumes "the Galations" are, in fact, the Galatians.Skelton is closely linked with at least one new Pentecostalist church in Dublin, and pages from his website are reprinted totally in its newsletter. The church's pastors are a husband-and-wife team, so this is one example of "mail-order" ministry not meaning "male-only" ministry.Perhaps it's a sign of the times and the growth in information technology that a mail order or email order church should call itself the First International Church of the Web. The Rev David M Ford and his church offer a $25 "all-in-one" ordination package including one of each of the following: "A tasteful, full-coloured Certificate of Ordination with your name and ordination date; a laminated full color Clergy ID Card personalized with your name and ordination date; and a laminated full-color Clergy Vehicle ID."The ID, we are told, "is a must for recognition outside the church. Use it for hospital visits, door witnessing, street ministry, tract ministry, conventions, or as a pass to access disaster victims." Presumably the 11" x 81/2" ordination certificate looks well on the wall when it appears in a matching $1 frame beside the 11" x 81/2" Doctor of Divinity certificate, which costs $30 but is "awarded in recognition of service to and support of our church."One is left to wonder whether this service is rendered by email and whether the clergy of the First International Church of the Web conduct all services by email too.But then, it takes some people at least seven years to get the hang of using a PC and surfing the net. Seven years of learning those skills is all that is needed for ordination by email.One church in California offers instant ordination - no questions, exams or fees - to anyone who visits its website