Stock plunges, Tinder surges and water for ‘straight-edge punks’

Planet Business: Tense and thirsty times, for everybody except Match Group

Veteran trader Peter Tuchman (centre) responds to an opening bell plunge at the New York Stock Exchange on Monday. Photograph: Drew Angerer/Getty Images

Veteran trader Peter Tuchman (centre) responds to an opening bell plunge at the New York Stock Exchange on Monday. Photograph: Drew Angerer/Getty Images

 

Image of the week: Trade malaise

Anytime it seems like trade tensions between the United States and China are subsiding, a certain someone in the White House goes and reignites them, teeing up some heightened – but logical – volatility on stock markets that don’t always feel too logical these days.

Wall Street was among those that started the week with a bit of a tumble, as reflected in this head-scratching shot taken at the opening bell on the floor of the New York Stock Exchange on Monday. Serial star of the NYSE photo-archive, Einstein-haired trader Peter Tuchman (centre) even set his face to moderately anguished for the occasion. What goes up, must go down. Then up again. Then down again.

In numbers: Swiping right

1.3 million Rise in the net number of subscribers to dating app Tinder in the first quarter of 2019 compared to a year earlier. According to parent company Match Group, this is thanks to some recent advertising campaigns.

4.7 million Average subscribers that Tinder now has in total. How many of them are happy though?

€415 million Quarterly earnings for Match Group, which has 8.6 million subscribers across its services, that claim to offer “unique products for virtually every dating desire”. Virtually.

Getting to know: Mike Cessario

News travels from America (Business Insider, to be precise) that water is for “yoga moms”. Luckily for anybody at risk of dying of thirst as a result, a former Netflix executive called Mike Cessario has come along with the solution. Called Liquid Death, Cessario’s canned water start-up has raised $2.25 million (€2 million) to date purely on the back of some gothic lettering and the manly invitation to “murder your thirst”.

Cessario explains that his “straight-edge punk” peers really need a water brand that speaks directly to them, not to “Whole Foods yoga moms”, and backers including Twitter co-founder Biz Stone and Dollar Shave Club founder Michael Dubin agree. Keen to bring some entertainment-world humour to the hitherto unfunny world of packaged water, Cessario has made Liquid Death look like a 12-pack of beer. Alas, this “mountain water” is only available online.

The list: Emoji overflow

Set your thumb to scroll mode: more emojis are coming – 230 of them. It’s an expansion that will lead to a chain reaction of endless emoji proliferation, the emoji-resistant argue, as phone users demand ever more specific representations of facial expressions, symbols and random household items. On the other (raised) hand, anything that dilutes the usage of the sneery rolling-eyes emoji has to be a good thing. Here are some on the way in 2019.

1. Drop of blood: This elegant drop of bright red blood doesn’t have to signify menstruation, but it will.

2. Axe: Surely destined to be used in conjunction with the drop-of-blood emoji.

3. One-piece swimsuit: The emoji reign of the bikini is over.

4. Waffle: Possibly a Bird’s Eye, more likely a Belgian, for some reason this addition to the food emoji canon has a square of butter melting into the middle of it.

5. Yawning face: Half-way to sleeping face, yawning face is truly the emoji we all need.

The Irish Times Logo
Commenting on The Irish Times has changed. To comment you must now be an Irish Times subscriber.
SUBSCRIBE
GO BACK
Error Image
The account details entered are not currently associated with an Irish Times subscription. Please subscribe to sign in to comment.
Comment Sign In

Forgot password?
The Irish Times Logo
Thank you
You should receive instructions for resetting your password. When you have reset your password, you can Sign In.
The Irish Times Logo
Please choose a screen name. This name will appear beside any comments you post. Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards.
Screen Name Selection

Hello

Please choose a screen name. This name will appear beside any comments you post. Your screen name should follow the standards set out in our community standards.

The Irish Times Logo
Commenting on The Irish Times has changed. To comment you must now be an Irish Times subscriber.
SUBSCRIBE
Forgot Password
Please enter your email address so we can send you a link to reset your password.

Sign In

Your Comments
We reserve the right to remove any content at any time from this Community, including without limitation if it violates the Community Standards. We ask that you report content that you in good faith believe violates the above rules by clicking the Flag link next to the offending comment or by filling out this form. New comments are only accepted for 3 days from the date of publication.