There is a rich history in television of stranding a celebrity somewhere hot and unpleasant and inviting us at home to reach for the popcorn. The fun usually lies in the C-lister’s struggles to find food and build a shelter while waylaid by creepy crawlies. The famous live such a gilded existence – what a hoot to watch them slowly unravel for our entertainment.
But in the case of former ITV presenter Phillip Schofield – star of the latest season of Cast Away on the UK’s Channel 5 – the unravelling has already taken place off-screen. The one-time host of This Morning (the UK’s Ireland AM) was, in his own words, “cancelled” in 2023 after confessing to a relationship with a colleague 30 years his junior.
While Schofield admitted the affair was “unwise”, he blamed homophobia for the backlash (“if it was male-female, then it wouldn’t be such a scandal”, he said). Eighteen months later, he’s back on his screens, but rather than finding peace, he’s still stewing about his unfair treatment (as he sees it). “I’ve just been sad,” he says. “I want to see if the ultimate isolation can set me free.”
Cast Away is a more extreme I’m A Celebrity ... Get Me Out Of Here. Schofield has signed up for 10 days on an island off Madagascar in the Indian Ocean. During that period, it’s just him and some remote cameras – which means he has to adjust to the utter isolation (on the other hand, he doesn’t have to pretend to find Ant and Dec funny – the recurring ordeal inflicted on I’m A Celeb contestants).
RTÉ Late Late Toy Show appeal raises over €5m for children’s charities for first time
From Baby Reindeer and The Traitors to Bodkin and The 2 Johnnies Late Night Lock In: The best and worst television of 2024
At Newstalk, Ciara Kelly gets righteously annoyed
Gregg Wallace accused of sending ‘gross’ texts and ‘creepy’ voicemails to young female reporter
The problem, however, is that nobody cares about Schofield’s battle of wills against the wilderness. Building a shelter, chasing a crab, looking for some fish – these are distractions. What viewers want is to hear him unload against ITV and discuss his relationship with Holly Willoughby, his on-screen best mate on This Morning until she distanced herself from him.
Alas, he never goes in all pistols blazing. With an eye on ratings, there is a sense that Channel 5 is holding back the red meat until future episodes. He doesn’t reference Willoughby by name in part one – although there are a few covert digs.
“I miss parts of it. I miss most of it,” he says of his TV career. “There are bits I really, really don’t miss. You learn a lot about people. You learn a LOT about people. I don’t miss that. ”
Schofield obviously feels betrayed. Viewers will have their own opinions as to whether he deserves sympathy. However, over 45 minutes, Schofield’s self-absorption is exhausting and makes for wearying entertainment.
His family – who also have a behind-the-scenes role in steering his career – are wheeled out and speak supportively.
[ Phillip Schofield: ‘utter betrayal’ made me never want to be a presenter againOpens in new window ]
“I really hope people see him how we see him,” says eldest daughter Molly. “He is just amazing.”
Amazing he may be, but that doesn’t come across in part one. Instead, Schofield appears to have a chronic case of main character syndrome – it is all about him and his career rather than the impact of his actions on those around him.
He isn’t the first person to see their life’s work taken away in a finger-tap – he certainly isn’t the first to be cancelled. But rather than finding peace in the great emptiness of a desert island, he continues to stew with resentment. He may feel entirely justified in that response. Nevertheless, his journey from disgraced celeb to angry bore makes for less than stellar entertainment.
