Planet Business

LAURA SLATTERY reviews the week in business

LAURA SLATTERYreviews the week in business

Office politics

With about a quarter of young people unemployed, it may come as a surprise to find that Ireland’s employers – or, at least, the 340 members of employers’ group Ibec surveyed on the matter – claim that those they do employ have something of an attitude problem.

The survey identifies ability to work autonomously, “attitudinal” skills and “people-related” skills as the top three skills gaps among Irish graduates – which is possibly code for damn, we were hoping these kids with degrees would arrive fully compliant for workplace slavery, but instead we actually have to spend time training them ourselves”.

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Thankfully, three-quarters of employers professed themselves satisfied with the calibre of graduates. The views of graduates on the calibre of employers were not recorded.

Dictionary Corner - "The John Lewis State"

As Ireland’s dependency on our nearest paymasters looks set to increase, the ideological bent of the British government assumes even greater relevance. The latest Conservative wheeze is that public sector workers should form co-operatives in the style of John Lewis, the department store that operates a system of profit-sharing co-ops and has, as a result, reportedly higher morale than its retail competitors.

The UK now plans to form mutual co-ops within hospitals, childcare clinics, welfare provision and throughout the civil service. This has prompted Tony Woodley, joint general secretary of Unite, to declare that these privatisation-ready mutuals would be no replacement for a joined-up public sector, no matter how many times ministers invoked the friendly example of John Lewis. “You go to John Lewis to buy a sofa or a fridge, not to have chemotherapy,” he sighed.

€344m– The sum that Vodafone has been ordered to pay as a deposit to Indian courts while it appeals a £1.7 billion tax bill.

"These people from the IMF, the European Commission and the European Central Bank are not coming here to say 'hello, keep at it Brian'"- Fine Gael leader Enda Kenny disputes the idea that the holders of the European purse strings simply fancied a little Irish break to catch up with old friends.

STATUS UPDATE

Vegas banker: Deutsche Bank has taken accusations of "casino capitalism" to heart by spending $4 billion on a Las Vegas casino, finishing off the job of a defaulting developer.

Royal solution:The British Retail Consortium has described as "ludicrous" suggestions that selling a few million bits of "Wills heart Kate" wedding china will spur economic revival.

Diamonds forever: A "fancy intense pink" diamond went for a record-breaking $46 million in Geneva. "It really doesn't have a price," said the confused Sotheby's auctioneer.

Is it time to start bottling our own urine?

Given Ireland’s economy is not only officially in the toilet, but has been flushed though the U-bend where it lingers beneath layers of toxic waste, it seems an appropriate time to turn our attention to which body parts we can flog to keep ourselves ticking over financially. According to Sally Magnusson, author of a new book called The Life of Pee: The Story of How Urine Got Everywhere, urine is the ultimate unsung commodity-slash-natural-resource.

“Urine is a forgotten part of our social and industrial history,” she told the BBC’s Today programme this week. “It cleaned Roman togas, it dyed wool, it made gunpowder. It sustained whole industries.”

The problem is that, while urine makes up on 1 per cent of waste water, it accounts for 80 per cent of the nitrogen and 45 per cent of all the phosphates. To avoid wrecking the ecosystem, most countries spend vast quantities of energy treating the stuff. “But in Sweden, they’re using it to fertilise fuels,” she added. “So if we peed on our gardens we could save the world?” asked host John Humphreys. “We would certainly get better gardens, so gardeners tell me,” said Magnusson, “though make sure you dilute it first.”

Elsewhere, fans of “liquid gold” are using it to make urine- powered batteries. This has led to the ultimate fantasy of the urine-fuelled car, advocated by scientists at the University of Ohio, although not, sadly, using human urine. It may not surprise anyone that such “pee power” is “not yet commercially viable”.