WHILE the recent Rocca court action ruffled a few feathers among high societies' high-flyers a more dull but worthy trademark infringement case now underway in Britain is surprisingly proving just as entertaining. Feathers are flying all over the place. The case, which opened this week, pits United Biscuits against supermarket group Asda over an alleged trademark infringement, with the Puffin hauled up in front of a senior beak accused of unlawfully impersonating the Penguin. It has nothing to do with our feathered friends but everything to do with chocolate biscuits - and money.

United Biscuits introduced its Penguin chocolate bar more than 60 years ago and now has product sales running at £35 million sterling a year. The question for the High Court beak in this ten-day hearing is whether the name and wrapper design adopted by Asda is so similar to Penguin's that it should be banned for causing confusion among the biscuit-buying public.

In his opening remarks UB's counsel, robed like his fellow barristers in legal garb reminiscent of a penguin - or perhaps a puffin - told the judge that Asda had deliberately chosen a white-chested seabird beginning with a `p' and ending with an `n'. There was "no inherent connection" between the seabirds and chocolate biscuits which could excuse the alleged copying of UB's "distinctive product". Asda, he claimed, has heinously even adapted UB's famous slogan to read, "pick up a Puffin". Alas at the end of this diverting squabble among the litigious seabirds someone will have to p-p-p-pick up the costs.