Profit And Loss At AIB

 

Sir, - I recommend anyone who currently owes money to AIB to write to their bank manager in the following terms:

Dear Manager, - In light of recent revelations at Dublin Castle, I have decided that I will be making no further repayments in respect of my loan/overdraft/mortgage. Should you decide to take any drastic action in this regard, you should note the following points:

1. I could be a very troublesome adversary;

2. I have no income; and

3. A confrontation with me could cause great resentment towards the bank and have repercussions for the bank's general business throughout the country. - Yours sincerely, John Citizen.

PS: I forgot to mention that I am about to commence building a summer residence on my recently acquired private island, Inis Fiddle On. Consequently, I shall require accommodation of up to £350,000 from your good self for a further two years. - Yours, etc., Seamus Greene,

Dublin 18.