Clash of the Titans

Directed by Louis Leterrier. Starring Sam Worthington, Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Danny Huston, Gemma Arterton, Mads Mikkelsen, Alexa Davalos, Polly Walker 12A cert, gen release, 105 min

WHAT EXACTLY is the point of this exercise? The original Clash of the Titansis now best remembered as an exercise in rollicking high camp. Ooo, listen to Larry Olivier and his fruity vowels. Gawd, isn't Ursula Andress simply ghastly, darling? How did Harry Hamlin get to be Perseus? David Hasselhoff must be simply fuming.

Indeed, if you weren’t prepared to laugh at the serious bits, the only reason to watch the 1981 mythical epic was for Ray Harryhausen’s characteristically delicious stop- motion effects.

It hardly needs to be said that no Plasticine was harmed in the making of the new version. Louis Leterrier, director of The Incredible Hulk, has instructed his special effects folk to get to their computers and the results are as superficially bombastic, grandiosely generic and unspectacularly spectacular as you might expect. The Kraken wakes? Well, its good to hear something in the auditorium has managed to shake itself into consciousness.

As the classicists among you will remember, Clash of the Titansfocuses on a dispute between the Greek gods and their ungrateful charges on earth. When the citizens of Argos – exhausted after a long day toting goods from that mysteriously huge warehouse at the back of the store – declare the dawning of the age of man, their powerful creators allow Hades to rise from the underworld and launch all kinds of mayhem. Thank goodness that Perseus (Sam Worthington) is on hand to save the planet.

The main body of the film – Perseus's adventures – plays like a routine amalgam of Star Warsand World of Warcraft. Gorgons are hacked to bits while surging chords fail to entirely drown out the mechanical, humourless dialogue.

There are some camp pleasures to be had. The conversations between Liam Neeson’s gleaming Zeus and Ralph Fiennes’s gothic Hades are a sight to behold. It’s like watching Liberace’s hairier brother having an argument with a deranged tramp. I mean, really.