After selling up in Ireland, we quickly worked out the best rule for expats to live by

Ever since we first visited the south coast of Spain, in the late 1990s, my wife and I had been attracted by its pace of life, food, weather and intoxicating mixture of Christian, Moorish and Arabic cultures, as well as by the friendliness of the people.

So after we retired, Bridget and I decided to sell our house – we lived near Dundalk, in Co Louth – and move to Spain. But we didn’t want to do what emigrants the world over often do, and live as expatriates, speaking only our native language and always socialising together.

We persisted with our Spanish but soon discovered that locals speak it with an accent that can be impenetrable even to Spaniards from other parts of the country. We barely understood a word. We can still struggle, but in general we now manage to communicate quite well

We therefore took Spanish lessons, to help us integrate, and chose a location with a healthy mixture of ethnicities, to get the full benefit of the multicultural experience that the Mediterranean coast offers. We bought an apartment on the promenade overlooking the sea in Fuengirola and moved here in 2012.

Many of our neighbours are Spanish. Some live here permanently; others have holiday apartments. Other nationalities, both European and Arabic, own or rent apartments nearby.

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When first we tried out our Spanish, the reaction of a waiter was unexpected: “Oh, good. Now I can practise my English.”

Undaunted, we persisted – but soon discovered that the people of Malaga province, whose coast Fuengirola sits right in the middle of, speak Spanish with an accent that can be impenetrable even to Spaniards from other parts of the country. We barely understood a word. We can still struggle, but in general we now manage to communicate quite well.

Our Spanish is most valuable when we visit the town hall, police station or any public office. The attitude of the person behind the counter can depend on your approach. The question “Do you speak English?” is met by a shrug, raised palms and a look of incomprehension. Better to approach the same person with a greeting in Spanish, an apology and an inquiry. “Buenos días. Lo siento. Mi español no es bueno. ¿Habla inglés?” – which means “Hello. I’m sorry. My Spanish is not good. Do you speak English?” The smiling response will be: “I speak a little English. We can help each other.”

We’ve found that Spanish people appreciate it when you show respect to their language and culture. They downplay their language skills. Many can speak good English.

But what of our resolve to integrate?

Most mornings we visit a cafe that is frequented by locals and tourists. At first we were greeted politely by the servers but ignored by the Spanish regulars, who responded to our tentative nods of recognition with a cool reserve.

After a few months, when we’d resigned ourselves to an atmosphere of polite indifference, everything changed.

Almost overnight, aloofness was replaced by smiles, waves, hearty greetings and chats about the weather. Since then, if I go for breakfast alone, there is a discreet inquiry about “la señora”. When I reveal that she has gone to England for a few days there will be a jovial, finger-wagging admonition to behave myself while she’s away.

When I was in Ireland, the family who own our favourite restaurant in Fuengirola made my wife promise to call on them for help if she had any emergency. From then we’ve felt very much a part of the community.

We love the pace of life here.

We have a choice of restaurants within walking distance, so that we can enjoy Argentinian, Chinese, Indian, Mexican, Japanese, Moroccan, Lebanese and, of course, Spanish food.

The weather is glorious except for July and August, when it’s very humid. We avoid the discomfort then by taking trips back to Ireland and the UK to see our families and friends. They visit us also. Perhaps understandably, we see them much more frequently here in Spain than when we lived in Ireland.

Although we are retired, we keep comfortably busy and active. I write for a few hours each day after a long morning walk. My wife has a variety of interests to occupy her time.

We are football fans. In Ireland we were season-ticket holders at Manchester City. (My wife is a Mancunian.) Now we follow the English Premier League on TV but also pay occasional visits to the Rosaleda Stadium to support Malaga FC.

Television has also provided me with a diet of GAA and rugby.

We’ve enjoyed weekend breaks in Granada, Cordoba and Seville as well as a tour along the beautiful north coast of Spain. Day trips to the white villages of Andalusia are another delight.

Our life is good here. We’ve never regretted our decision to become immigrants on the Mediterranean coast and to embrace the Andalusian lifestyle.

If you live overseas and would like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do