Inherited intelligence

Remember the time your Ma was ironing your brand new Osmonds Tee-shirt and she melted the transfer of their picture, leaving Donny looking like a liquidised turnip? Is it any wonder, then, that we can empathise with Jason McAteer (above). Take it away Ian Harte: "The other week Jason told me that he gave a Ralph Lauren polo shirt to his mum to wash, and those shirts are longer at the back than at the front. Anyway, his mum didn't spot this until after she'd washed it, thought she'd shrunk the front, so cut the back to make both sides equal. He says that's where he gets his stupidity from."