A premiership football club is straining to break into the hot drinks market - by launching its own brand of tea. Newcastle United have already unveiled the brew, called Geordie Blend, at special tasting sessions in shopping centres around the city. The tea is said to have been specially designed to suit the tap water in the North East - ughh. The club's new Christmas fashion collection will also be modelled by "star guests" at the events.

Knowing Newcastle's past tactics in profit making, the brew is dubiously destined to make money. Given that directors Douglas Hall and Freddie Shepherd have boasted that they can rip off the Geordie women aka `dogs' and men aka `drunken trouble-makers' by asking inflated prices for cheap imported replica kits, then why not rip them off with tea as well.