Chants of the week

"You'll never win the boat race."

- Three-nil down to Oxford, in yesterday's Division One game, Portsmouth fans hadn't a whole lot to sing about - this was the best they could produce.

"He's Dutch, he's cool, his name's `unpronouncabool', Jimmy Floyd, Jimmy Floyd."

- Leeds fans finally concede defeat in their search for a chant that rhymes with Jimmy Floyd Hasselbaink.

"He's crap, he's Swiss, he's taking the f***ing piss, Christian Gross, Christian Gross."

- Arsenal fans, paying homage to the Spurs manager last week. Alan Sugar's decision to sack Gross on Saturday suggests he shared their views.