Rite and Reason: Ireland has the second-highest level of youth suicide in the world and young people do not want to die, writes Fr David Keating
With the ever increasing phenomenon of suicide it is widely accepted that copycat suicides are more likely to follow the suicide of a celebrity than if a member of the general population takes their own life. "Copycat" refers to the tendency of humans to duplicate the behaviour of others and "copycat suicides" are defined as duplications of suicides due to repeated accounts or depictions of the original suicide on television and in other media.
What is less documented, however, is the notion of post-event behaviour adding to or becoming the celebrity aspect of the suicide death. The copycat syndrome may well be occurring not just with celebrity deaths, but with lives affected by the circumstances and occasion following a suicide death.
A community with no procedures in place to deal with the aftermath of suicide increases the aura of perplexity.
Scarcely 30 years ago in Ireland, a suicide funeral was a quiet and guilt-ridden affair with distraught relatives left to grieve alone and in shame. Today, a suicide funeral is large and well-attended, with huge outpourings of grief, emotion and tactile affection. Kind and memorable sentiments, unspoken before death, are now generously spoken and shared by mourners of all ages who, bound together by tragedy, will ensure the deceased will be well remembered.
Among the mourners, a solitary life looks on. Perhaps feeling insignificant or rarely noticed, maybe with no real prospect of achievement or just tired of picking up the pieces of broken relationships, this troubled mind wonders what's the point of it all and "since my life isn't really going anywhere, at least my death would be noticed".
Too many young lives are slipping away in our society and contemporary culture is not making a home for the distressed.
Our culture is one of sensate immediacy, where there is no patience for all that is unsolved in our hearts. With increased individualisation, so much friendship and connecting to life around us is in a non-committal sort of way. And with the generous trappings of economic growth and prosperity, we are living with a collective deception that all is well when truly it is not. "I'm fine" is now a mantra for the modern successful life.
Ireland has the second-highest youth suicide rate behind New Zealand, in the world. In roughly four out of every 10 suicides, a note is left. The most common word used in suicide notes is love, the second is sorry.
Distraught parents, tormented with the "why" question, wonder why their love was not enough to keep their child alive. It is because more than love is needed.
A full life needs purpose and meaning that is attainable - but where do such things come from when technological development explains away so many things that few areas of magic are left to young people?
It is harder to find reasons for living when we are still a society defined by work and achievement, where titles and credentials are constantly needed to prove we exist at all. Why do we still not validate or recognise other intelligences as much as intellectual intelligence? And why is there no space for people who aren't achieving things?
We have clear statistics from the World Health Organisation, the National Association of Suicidology, seminars and conferences highlighting the extent of suicide, but knowledge about statistics does not reduce the number of deaths by suicide.
Health board prevention initiatives and recommendations from national suicide prevention strategies have a certain but limited impact on reducing the levels of suicide.
By focusing too much on systematic approaches to suicide prevention, we have neglected or forgotten something profoundly fundamental - the power of humans to keep each other alive.
There is no prescription or treatment or strategy more effective than the presence and comfort of another human being.
Isolated people get tired of coping and suicidal people need a reason to get better, reasons for living that make sense and which are attainable. Ordinary men and women need reassurance that it is safe to talk about suicide with someone contemplating it.
Talking diffuses the tension and lightens the burden of heavy issues. We should also remember that ambivalence is a marked feature of a suicidal person; many don't want to die, but simply want a way to escape an unbearable situation.
People are "suicidal" only for a limited period and with kindness and non-judgmental support many can and do move beyond it.
As ordinary men and women we need to reclaim our innate potential to heal one another's inner turmoil and burdens.
True encounter is metamorphosis to a troubled soul; sincere company and conversation encourages many a suicidal mind out of the shadows. This is neither magic nor science, but simply a beautiful part of the human story.
Too many lives are withdrawing from a culture more monochrome than colourful, a society which values systems more than people and about which there is little or no critique. How many more funerals of young suicides will it take to change our deception that all is well?
[ dkeating@wit.ie ]