Madam, - The Labour Party's plans to combat violence against women are welcome (The Irish Times, December 5th), particularly as they coincide with Amnesty International's 16 days of action.
Amnesty's figures for Ireland are startling - one in five women abused in a relationship - 124 women murdered in the past 10 years, mostly by men, many their partners or husbands. Why is this happening? It is not going to stop, just because we demand that it stop. Of course refuge centres are essential for women's safety, but women will never be safe while the reasons for men's violence are not understood.
Anecdotal evidence suggests that the more violence against women is talked about, the more some men will react with aggression, perpetuating the vicious cycle. To look only at one side in the relationship, the victim's, is not going to solve the problem. There is, however, some tentative reason to believe that the clue may lie in male experience around the early days of puberty.
If a young boy is thrust into the middle of a war between his parents, and if he feels that his mother has to be protected against betrayal by his father, he is already in a deeply insidious relationship which may in time distort his own sexuality into what has been called the Peter Pan Syndrome, ultimately producing a "man-child." The man-child comes to believe he has lost his childhood innocence after psychological abuse by a manipulative woman: his only protection against future abuse is to grow into a control-freak. There are hints of this in folklore - eg Bluebeard, a man-child who asserts control over successive wives, killing them one after another when they disobey his domestic regulations. It is difficult for a man to understand his hidden and contradictory emotions upon what is in effect a taboo subject; but this must now be explored; men must be encouraged to come out and speak out about their feelings. If a few public men were to do this, they might break the taboo and become role models; the concept is already there in a primitive form, the Irish Mammy joke, which must now be taken seriously and seriously examined.
The Labour Party, if it really wants to make a difference, should develop a holistic policy to integrate the entire issue with education and health concerns and make it part of its national policy, not just relying on a few voluntary initiatives and inadequately-funded men's groups. It could also take a look at foreign policy. The world is still awaiting the implementation of UN Resolution 1325, whereby those women's NGOs directly involved in conflict situations (eg Afghanistan, Iraq, Darfur) should ex-officio become part of the conflict-resolution process, and should have control of the money for compensation and reconstruction.
Violence against women will stop when women are no longer seen as victims but are accorded their rightful value and respect. - Yours, etc,
MARGARETTA D'ARCY,
St Bridget's Place Lower,
Galway.
