Say it loud: I'm gay and proud

'Confidence' is a word you hear a lot from Ireland's gays and lesbians

'Confidence' is a word you hear a lot from Ireland's gays and lesbians. But, they tell Róisín Ingle, there is still much to be done

This afternoon some 6,000 gay, lesbian and transgender revellers are set to march, skip and dance along the route of the 2003 Pride march in Dublin. It may be out of sync with marches around the world - the event was put forward to accommodate the Special Olympics - but that won't make it any less of a party.

Dublin writer and "agony uncle" Quentin Fottrell was amazed recently when he saw two young gay men walk arm in arm in the north inner-city. "That kind of confidence was just not possible before. It says a lot about how attitudes have changed, both in the gay and the straight community, since decriminalisation 10 years ago".

Gay bars down back-street lanes with blacked out windows are largely a thing of the past. Gay-friendly nights are the norm in towns such as Castlebar and Roscommon. In Dublin, mixed bars - where gay and straight people socialise together - are proving popular.

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"It is very difficult for a young gay person who is not feeling confident to be thrown to the lions at a hard-core gay event," says Fottrell, "so mixed bars such as GUBU make it easier. And they can be great places for people who have yet to make up their minds. What's missing, though, is a gay quarter, which most other modern cities have. The gay scene needs a heart, which it just doesn't have at the moment."

Observers say the age at which gays, lesbians and bisexuals are "coming out" is getting younger. TV programmes such as Will and Grace and Tipping the Velvet promote an image of gays and lesbians that moves away from the stereotypes and gives people confidence in expressing their sexuality.

Dave, an academic originally from the north-west of Ireland but now living in Dublin, was astounded at how well his parents took it when he came out. "They were extremely supportive of me, which I was grateful for," he says. He met his boyfriend Michael, a barrister, through the Internet dating service Gaydar. The couple are about to celebrate their first anniversary.

While acknowledging the improve- ment in choice for gay people, Dave says the scene in Dublin is "limited" and "restricting. There aren't too many places to go. The main place, The George, is a greasy, one-night-stand joint with lots of chaps preening themselves in front of mirrors. I'm not really into all that, so the Internet option was more attractive."

Dave says moves in the UK to give legal rights to gay unions must be mirrored here if full equality is to be achieved. "The advantage of marriage is no longer a social one, but there is a legal and financial advantage that gay people are being excluded from."

Like many gays, Dave is concerned about partnership and parental rights. The National Economic and Social Forum has recommended that gays, lesbians and bisexuals should be able to nominate a beneficiary for inheritance purposes, designate a next-of-kin, nominate a partner as a guardian, get permission for non-EU partner to live and work here, and receive civil recognition of the partnership.

The newly relaunched, privately funded Gay Community News is another sign of a community growing in confidence. Editor Brian Finnegan is printing 15,000 copies of the first issue, which features interviews with all the activists who helped bring about decriminalisation 10 years ago.

"I wanted it to be incredibly colourful . . . it's confident but not brash," Finnegan says. "The changes we still need in the legal system are not going to happen today or tomorrow, but there are positive shifts happening. I am someone who lives in this country and has paid a lot of taxes and deserves these rights as much as you do."

Meanwhile, gay, lesbian and trans- gender people are gearing up to make their voices heard on the city streets. "It is about standing up and saying: 'This is me and I have every right to be here as who I am and not as you think I should be'," says businesswoman Orla Howard, in relation to the Pride march.

According to Howard, it's getting easier for Irish women to acknowledge their sexuality. "I didn't come out until my mid- to late- 20s, but these days you see much younger women and a lot of them are beautiful, very well educated, independent women," she says. "Sometimes there is a totally different perception of lesbians."

For Mary, who works in insurance, the "main irritation is the assumption when you go into a new workplace or a new environment that you are straight. The idea that you may have another orientation is not even entertained."

While decriminalization has had an undeniable impact on the lives of gays, lesbians and bisexuals, says Hayley Fox Roberts, a retiring member of the Dublin Pride Committee, many issues still need to be addressed. "There is still massive inequality in terms of legislation, there are still people getting battered on the streets for being gay, there are still people being bullied in schools. The same barriers are still in existence, but they have just changed shape."

• Some names have been changed

The Pride Parade starts at 2.15 p.m. today from the Garden of Remembrance, Parnell Square, Dublin