YOU could call it the "EuroFarce, A Tale of National Stereotypes". The French have been arrogant, the Spanish proud, and the Italians far too excitable. At the heart of this tale is the Italo French diplomatic incident which blew up this week as the EU partners jockey themselves into position for the single currency.
In Naples today the Italian" Prime Minister, Mr Romano Prodi, hosts a potentially prickly summit with President Jacques Chirac of France that takes place against the background of Italian suspicions that some of their EU partners may want to keep them out of the founding, group of single currency countries.
In the week after Mr Prodi unveiled a harsh 1997 Budget, worth $41 billion mainly by way of tax hikes and including a special "pro Europe tax", Italian amour propre has been stung by two successive attacks from Mr Chirac who dared suggest that Italy will not make it into the first wave of euro countries.
President Chirac has already crossed swords with Italy, arguing at last year's Cannes EU summit that the weakness of the lira over the last four years since opting out of the Exchange Rate Mechanism had given Italian exports an unfair advantage on textile markets, among others. It thus came as no surprise that Mr Chirac made his critical remarks this week to a gathering of businessmen from the textile town of Arras.
Mr Prodi then summoned the French ambassador and threatened to call off today's summit unless Paris delivered some very public backtracking. This duly arrived via comments from President Chirac who "clarified" his earlier negative remarks when telling reporters that he "ardently hoped" that Italy would meet the criteria for the single currency at the outset.
Even the threat to call off an Italo French summit, however, was nothing new. Twelve months ago, President Chirac actually did call off a summit with the then prime minister, Mr Lamberto Dini, primarily because Mr Dini had the temerity to criticise the French decision to resume nuclear testing in the South Pacific.
Italian belief, as expressed by the Finance Minister, Mr Vincenzo Visco, this week, that someone (France and Germany) wants to keep Italy out may prove mistaken. Diplomatic sources in Rome argue that France and Germany want the lira in all right, but at a realistic, not unfairly competitive exchange rate.
Further salt was rubbed into Italian wounds this week by the Spanish Prime Minister, Mr Jose Maria Aznar, who told the Financial Times that at a recent Italo Spanish summit in Valencia, Mr Prodi had proposed a "Mediterranean alliance" aimed at convincing the European partners and in particular the German Chancellor, Dr Helmut Kohl, to shift the euro goalposts.
Mr Aznar reportedly rejected the proposal, pointing out proudly that, come euro start up, Spain would be ready to line out in the front row of the grid. Which is, more than can currently be said of Italy where, for example, national debt represents about 124 per cent of GDP (the Maastricht criteria calls for a 60 per cent rating).
Although Mr Prodi rejects Mr Aznar's account of their Valencia meeting, it is true that on his return from that summit he unveiled last week's harsher than expected budget. Commentators argue that Mr Prodi's change of direction was prompted by the realisation - post Valencia - that if Italy does not get its act together about meeting the single currency criteria, then it could find itself shut out.