THAT'S MEN:Men beware of getting your kit off for camera
THE CLARE Champion had me looking at pictures of nearly naked brides on the internet the other day while thinking about bishops. It is not that I have developed specialised tastes but Michael Torpey’s column in that newspaper reminded me that it is 44 years since the “bishop and the nightie” affair rocked the nation. That, in turn, got me thinking about boudoir photos and “morning after” photos, resulting in an image search on Google.
To dispose of the bishop and the nightie: in 1966, Gay Byrne interviewed a couple in the audience on The Late Late Show and wanted to know what colour nightdress the woman wore. She replied that she had been wearing nothing. The audience laughed and that was the end of the matter until the Bishop of Clonfert issued a thundering denunciation of The Late Late for threatening the morals of the country. He got an apology from RTÉ but nobody remembers that – all that is remembered is that the bishop made a clown of himself.
This is where the nearly nude brides come into the picture. What, I wondered, would the bishop have made of the practice of having sexy photographs taken of the bride and sometimes of the bride and groom before the big day?
Apparently the bride is meant to give the photograph to her groom as a present around the time of the wedding. What the purpose of a photograph of the two of them together would be, I don’t know.
These are called boudoir photographs. The word “boudoir” comes from the French verb “bouder” which means “to sulk” but refers to the private rooms to which ladies retire to sulk and which we all, naturally, have in our homes these days.
It costs about €200 to get them done and there are plenty of photographers in Ireland offering to do them. One enterprising photographer offers €50 off on Monday which I guess makes it the least sultry day of the week.
Aside from wondering how the famous bishop would respond to this development in Irish culture I also find myself wondering how the husbands-to-be actually respond if presented with a boudoir photograph they weren’t expecting to get. The sort of chap who says, when asked by his wife if he loves her, “Of course I do, didn’t I tell you the day we got married?” is unlikely to find the right words when handed a photograph of his bride wearing nothing but a pout. So straight away the poor guy has failed. Time to retire to the sulking room, milady.
And then there is the “morning after” photo. This is meant to depict the couple together after their wedding night, usually with not a lot of clothes on. The idea of presenting yourself to a photographer with a wedding-size hangover is alarming at first but I suspect that the best “morning after” photographs are actually taken in a studio weeks before the wedding.
For the man this involves the further ordeal of having to get at least partially undressed in front of a photographer while his bride-to-be has a laugh at his expense and God forbid that she might be accompanied by a cackling coven of bridesmaids, sisters and best friends, snapping away on their phones.
It used to be that the major ordeal for a man in getting married was getting kitted out in a dress suit. Now, I suspect, it’s getting his kit off so the photographs can be taken.
Men, beware. In years to come, when you are being castigated for your fondness for pints and plates of chips your boudoir photograph, if you were reckless enough to have one taken, may be taken out and used in evidence against you.
And what if you split up?
Now that you have become a respected member of the community, do you really want your enraged ex to put your “morning after” photographs up on Facebook for the benefit of colleagues, neighbours and your new girlfriend?
PADRAIG O'MORAIN(pomorain@ireland.com) is a counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book, Light Mind – Mindfulness for Daily Living, is published by Veritas. His monthly mindfulness newsletter is available free by email.