Men are often afraid that being spiritual means putting aside all the things that make them men, writes MICHAEL KELLY
IT MIGHT interest you to know that despite the lengthening dole queues there is one area of the employment market where there are currently exceedingly good job prospects for men.
The employer offers a “job for life”, a good income, free accommodation and the opportunity to study abroad. The career in question is the priesthood.
In last Monday's Irish TimesMichael Parsons reported from Kilkenny that the Catholic Diocese of Ossory had set up a stall on High Street over the May bank holiday weekend to try to attract vocations to the priesthood.
The initiative coincided with the World Day of Prayer for Vocations and was initiated by Fr Willie Purcell who is director of vocations for the diocese.
“We’ll take as many people as we can get – there are unlimited job opportunities,” he said.
Joining the seminary to escape the dole queue is of course not the kind of vocation that we need in our priests and if Fr Purcell created the impression that the priesthood could be an alternative source of employment during the recession, surely it was unintentional.
The story did, however, serve as a useful reminder of the chronic shortage of vocations in the Catholic Church (in 2008 just 11 men were ordained to the priesthood nationally and that was generally considered to have been a good year) and the ongoing difficulty in attracting men to a spiritual life.
There is precious little empirical evidence to back up the general consensus about the decline in spirituality among Irish men. Neither is there much research into the whole area of male spirituality.
The latest census and various surveys provide bits and pieces of information, but hardly supply an accurate picture.
The 2006 census would seem to indicate that religion is alive and well among Irish men – of the 2.1 million men surveyed, 1.8 million identified themselves as Roman Catholic and just 150,000 said they had no religion.
But of course ticking a box marked “Roman Catholic” (or “no religion” for that matter) tells us absolutely nothing about the spirituality of the person.
In a 2006 European Social Survey, nine out of 10 Irish people said they believed in God but again that’s hardly evidence of a deeply held spiritual conviction. Various surveys show a marked decrease in religious activity in Ireland – “once per week” attendance at mass for example has dropped to 56 per cent.
But do you have to attend mass to be spiritual?
You could say that, taken together, these figures seem to suggest that we are still a spiritual people but increasingly unsure about how to express it.
Whether a man classifies himself as spiritual or religious, there is a growing appreciation of the fact that these things have a role to play in our physical and mental health.
Ewles Simnett (2004) for example posited that health is a multidimensional and multifaceted affair with physical, mental, social, emotional, sexual, societal, environmental and spiritual levels.
This would suggest that it is only when all of these levels are in good working order do we achieve optimal health.
There is a plethora of research that links spirituality to improved self-esteem, self-efficacy, hope, optimism, life satisfaction and general wellbeing.
Ellison Levin (1998) linked spirituality to a variety of better health outcomes while Mueller et al (2001) believed that by alleviating stressful feelings and promoting healing ones, spirituality has a positive impact on the immune, cardiovascular, hormonal and nervous systems.
In 2001 Koenig et al researched 1,200 studies and 400 research reviews and found a 60-80 per cent correlation between spirituality and better health.
At an Iona Institute conference in Dublin in April, UCD professor of psychiatry Patricia Casey delivered a talk on how religious practice can decrease the risk of suicide and depression, help people to cope with bereavement and add to life expectancy. At the same conference, sociologist Dr Brad Wilcox highlighted how religion plays a role in making men more responsible and more likely to be good fathers.
A problem, however, for men going in search of spirituality (whether that be as part of a patriarchal church or otherwise) is that they consider many of the things associated with a religious or spiritual journey like compassion, love and patience to be inherently touchy feely or effeminate.
Men are often afraid that being spiritual means putting aside all the things that make them men. Men are supposed to be rational, not emotional. We are taught to hide or run away from our feelings, not get in touch with them. We like to do things, not just talk about them.
The issue of “masculine spirituality” is therefore front and centre at meetings of a non-denominational group called Men As Learners and Elders (MALEs) Ireland which meets monthly at Marley Community Centre in Dublin.
MALEs was first established in 2002 in Albuquerque, New Mexico by an American Franciscan called Fr Richard Rohr to promote a type of spirituality for men which would enhance their masculinity.
Its website cheekily asks the question “Are you man enough to join us?”
Rohr’s big idea is that while women are intuitively spiritual, men need “initiation” in spirituality to help them mature. He believes that many of the rites of passage which cultures used over the millennia to help boys get a better understanding of spirituality are now absent from society altogether.
Modern men, according to Rohr, have everything they need – money, sex, power, education – but the question of what it means to be a man remains elusive. Many of society’s woes, he says, could be addressed if ordinary men were able to mature spiritually.
The Franciscan designed a spiritual development programme for men aimed at improving their conscious contact with God (as they understand this – they do not need to be Christian or of any faith to get involved) through prayer and meditation. The programme is designed to help men to mature in to a new awareness of themselves and their responsibilities to family and community.
The Irish MALEs group was established by Gerry Moore in 2003.
Moore retired from the ESB 10 years ago and embarked on somewhat of a spiritual quest which took him eventually to one of Rohr’s “Men’s Rites of Passage” events in Albuquerque.
“During my professional life, I was always curious about the fact that the men around me didn’t want to know about official religion,” says Moore, “but when they had a crisis in their lives they tended to look to spirituality for help.”
The event that he attended took place over five days in the New Mexico desert.
“There were 120 guys and they were mostly ‘un-churchy’,” he says. “There were men from 21 to 80 years of age from all walks of life. People of faith and people with none.
“Everyone came simply as a man without persona or status. We talked, listened, participated, reflected. I found out that at my deepest level I was good and that it is a great privilege to be a man. I was comfortable in my own skin. It was unforgettable and transformative. I passionately believed that this was sorely needed in Ireland.”
The group in Dublin, he says, is grounded in Judeo-Christian traditions but is genuinely uninterested in the religion, race, gender, politics and sexual orientation of its members.
“We meet as men,” says Moore. “There is no status and no competition between us. No one is leading anyone else. We start by beating drums which all the men really love – anyone can drum and you get a great sense of connectedness and commonality from that.
“Then we sit in silence which is generally uncomfortable for men and then we listen to each other without judgment. We listen to teaching on masculine spirituality but it is ecumenical and non-denominational. We have Muslims and atheists in our group. We don’t try to evangelise them. We have no interest in whether they go to church or not.”
Moore believes Irish men are increasingly unsure of both their masculinity and their place in society.
“There is a lack of comfort there about being male, about what our role is.
“We see a new generation of men losing their jobs and they are losing their identity at the same time.
“We see these young men in Limerick who are gone so totally astray – imagine if we could direct their energies to the service of the community instead of destroying it?
“They, like all men, are searching for some meaning in their lives. That can only come if you take meaning from a spiritual source.”
Making contact
MALEs Ireland meet in Marley Community Centre off the Grange Road, Dublin 14 on the third Saturday of every month from 10.30am to 1pm. A Men’s Rites of Passage event takes place in Kiltegan, Co Wicklow from Wednesday, June 17th to Sunday, June 21st. The cost, including full board accommodation, is €350. See www.malesireland.net
