THAT'S MEN:Workaholics can end up paying a heavy price
MICHAEL IS aged 43, married with three children and works for up to 14 hours a day. On family holidays, he thinks constantly about work and must regularly check voicemail and e-mails.
But Michael is not happy. He has come to hate his job – yet, if he is not doing it, he gets depressed and irritable. His wife is threatening to leave him because he spends so little time with the family.
Michael is a composite example made from real people by Prof Mark Griffiths who specialises in addiction at Nottingham Trent University. He has been trying to pin down what it is that qualifies a person as a workaholic.
It’s not just a question of working long hours, he argues. Some people work ridiculous hours but can throw themselves into social activities when they leave work, can enjoy holidays and such family time as they have and so on.
A key sign of workaholism as an addiction is that the person is preoccupied with work even when away from it. Work gets rid of the irritability and low mood felt in “free” time – in other words, work provides a fix. Another key sign is that the amount time being put into work is seriously damaging relationships.
An addiction to work can develop gradually as the person chases the high of recognition, status and rewards. But for some, such as Michael, there is no high – work enables them to avoid stresses and problems in their lives outside work.
For people whose self-esteem is very low or who suffer other forms of emotional pain, work can provide a anaesthetic.
It’s the same with other addictions. We have all seen the alcoholic who is on a high when drinking and also the alcoholic who is a quiet, morose drinker.
In many settings workaholism is encouraged, Griffiths points out in an article in The Psychologist. Some employers encourage and reward behaviours that amount to workaholism. Every time workaholism is rewarded, the addiction is reinforced.
As the person’s life outside work crumbles, the addiction provides a refuge and things get worse.
Workaholism is high in professional groups, especially in fields such as medicine where long hours of work are encouraged.
Workaholics, ironically, are not necessarily better at their jobs or more productive than their peers who go home at the end of the day.
That’s because the workaholism isn’t really about the work – it’s about a compulsive need to gain approval or a need to avoid being alone with oneself.
If you’re wondering whether you are just an extremely busy person or a workaholic, ask those nearest to you if you seem preoccupied with work when you’re away from it and if, in their opinion, you are unable to let go of it.
If that is the case then it is very possible that you are a workaholic and that you will pay a price in damaged relationships and in stunted personal development unless you tackle it.
To do that you may need to seek help, not with work problems as such, but with the underlying issues that keep the workaholism going.
Go to bit.ly/workaddict for Griffiths’ full article.
Addendum:About one in four of the nearly 5,000 men who contacted Amen last year said they were suffering physical abuse at the hands of female partners. More than one in three were experiencing psychological and/or verbal abuse.
And just as domestic violence against women appears to have increased with the recession, the same has happened to men with a rise of 28 per cent in the number of men contacting Amen. More than 1,000 calls made outside normal hours went unanswered. The organisation cannot afford to run its helpline 24 hours a day, seven days a week.
For advice for male victims of domestic abuse, see amen.ie, or ring on telephone number: 046-9023718.
Padraig O’Morain (pomorain@ireland.com) is accredited as a counsellor by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His book,
Light Mind - mindfulness for daily living
, is published by Veritas. His mindfulness newsletter is free by e-mail.