The Staff room Diner

Lunchtime in the staff room will never be the same again. The Board of Management has bought a microwave for the staff. For years those who dined daily in the staff room made their case for a microwave at staff meetings.

"There will be no cooking in the staff room" - this was the entrenched position of those who went out for a hearty lunch to the local pub on a daily basis. But two important influences made the advent of the microwave inevitable:

Early morning traffic

A shorter lunch break

Most staff rooms have their full complement of teachers at least a half an hour before class starts. This gives rise to the first wave of tea-making, corn flakes and even toast.

Boards of management have had to vote extra money for milk and teabags. With the advent of the microwave, porridge is now on the breakfast menu. But it is at lunchtime that the greatest revolution has occurred. Schools that once enjoyed an hour for a leisurely lunch now have no more than 40 minutes. So the sandwich has come into its own.

Now there are different types of sandwiches, not all of which would be acceptable at an Aras An Uachtarain garden party.

Pat, the confirmed bachelor is an expert on the doorstep sandwich: it consists of thick slices of bread with the contents of the fridge sandwiched between them. This is no careless construction, but one born of a long tradition.

Pat, who hails from Cavan, remembers following his team to matches and having his sandwiches out of the back of the car before the match. These were always washed down with tea or milk from a bottle with a paper cork.

Although he may have given up on Cavan, he feels that the tradition of the doorstep sandwich should not be allowed to die.

Then there's Tom who never knows what is in the piece of silver wrap he surreptitiously takes out of his bag. The wife makes the sandwiches religiously every Sunday night for the week. Tom has a good idea that from Monday to Wednesday he will have the leftovers of the Sunday roast. For Thursday and Friday, it's a lucky dip - hence the nervous peep into the silver wrap before the "official" opening.

Everything about Mary is dainty. So are her sandwiches. The crusts are neatly trimmed and the sandwiches are sometimes decorated with parsley.

Then there are the weight-watchers. They spend the time chasing lettuce leaves round the plate while munching a granny smith.

So, where does the microwave come in? This is where the planned meals in their various forms of soups, noodles and pasta are given the ritual few minutes in the microwave.

Finally, there are the "to hell with poverty - kill a chicken" brigade. They send out for what might be termed "designer" sandwiches. They cost a bomb but it's one way of spending that extra money gained from the assistant principal post.

There is a great area of research, maybe leading to a PhD, on the type of mouth that goes with the various types of sandwiches. Imagine Pat with a dainty cucumber sandwich or Mary with - perish the thought.

The principal, in an effort to boost staff morale, has his lunch in the staff room on occasions - he's one of the sandwich-a-day-from-the-freezer brigade. On special occasions, such as a Cup victory or a significant birthday, Bewley's buns or a fruit cake appear - and disappear as quickly.

Since so many teachers try to beat the traffic by coming to the staff room early it means that hunger strikes at the morning break. So, the sandwiches are "raided" and eaten with a "don't-talk-to-me-I've-just-had-four-classes-in-a-row" look.

Teachers lucky enough to have the class off just before lunch bear an awesome burden. If the kettle is not boiling and the teapot ready for the early arrivals, all hell could break loose. Staff rooms have changed dramatically in recent times as teachers must spend more time there. They need to be more comfortable, have more amenities and be a haven of rest.

The microwave is here to stay.