Arranged marriages not cultural heritage but `a man-made law'

In the few published photographs of Rukhsana Naz carried by British newspapers last week, it was easy to look at her and see …

In the few published photographs of Rukhsana Naz carried by British newspapers last week, it was easy to look at her and see a happy, smiling young woman; for that is what she was, but only for a short part of her life.

At school, in the unremarkable northern English town of Derby, she met and fell desperately in love with a fellow Muslim student. Had she lived and married this boy, people would probably have called them childhood sweethearts and smiled knowingly at them when they passed in the street.

Had Rukhsana lived beyond her 19 years, she would now be the mother of a new baby who would play alongside her two other young children in the contented chaos of young life. Her family might have grown to accept that she had chosen a different path in life than that mapped out by the Muslim elders, and she probably would have lived to be a wise old woman complete with reassuringly grey hair.

Last week Rukhsana's younger sister quietly received the news of the life sentences handed out to their brother, Shazad, and mother, Shakeela, at Nottingham Crown Court for Rukhsana's murder in 1998.

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The cruel and vile manner in which Rukhsana was murdered - strangled on the floor of her mother's house - was deeply shocking. She was seven months pregnant by the young man she had met at school seven years earlier, but because she was already married to an older man from Pakistan (she was forced into marriage at the age of 15) her pregnancy was deemed to have offended the family's honour.

In the final minutes of Rukhsana's life, an argument broke out between her and her mother and brother. Somehow a terrible thought came into their minds and then Rukhsana was on the floor with cord around her neck. Shazad whispered an apology into Rukhsana's ear. Her mother sat on her legs to stop her wriggling.

The appalling circumstances of Rukhsana's death and the almost incomprehensible attitude of her mother, Shakeela, who believed she was fully justified in what she had done, can be just a part of the consequence of arranged marriages. It is rare, but devastating all the same.

Every year at least 1,000 young Asian women in Britain are forced into arranged marriages, but since this figure is not official, outreach agencies fear it could be much greater. In London last week the Labour MP, Ms Ann Cryer, spoke about the wall of silence surrounding the issue of arranged marriages; the unhappiness of many of the women trapped in them and the accusations of racism levelled at "outsiders" who criticise the practice among British Asians.

But many more young Asian women in Britain are now resisting arranged marriages, perhaps because they have had a taste of a better education system or simply because they have been exposed to the multiculturalism of British life and have turned their back on the rigours of their inherited culture. Whatever their reasons, the shame felt by their families when they refuse marriage or have affairs with other men can have deeply damaging effects.

Writing in London's Evening Standard this week, the critic Brian Sewell passionately challenged the British government to ban forced marriages, rejecting the argument that such practices are the cultural right of immigrants: "In every arranged marriage there is an element of compulsion that should be wholly unacceptable in a civilised society, and young Rukhsana was its martyr . . ."

Sadly, Rukhsana's death did not come as a great surprise to Apna Ghar (Our Home), a women's organisation in London which helps Asian women who have suffered as a result of domestic violence. Its director, Sudarshan Bhuhi, says the whole Asian community should take responsibility for what happened to Rukhsana: "The community is responsible for what happens in families and the shame that is felt in the household. It is the community pressure that is very strong here and it is wrong."

She also estimates that as many as 60 per cent of women in Asian households experience physical, verbal or emotional abuse. Many young women are abused by older women in the family, such as mothers-in-law, who, she says, were probably abused themselves.

"Working in this area for 14 years I have seen a cycle of children grow up. Often what happens is that where violence has existed in the home there is a tendency for the women, when they are in the position as a mother or mother-in-law, to say `It is within my rights to do this' to the younger women," she explains.

"Some arranged marriages work, some don't, but arranged marriages are not part of the cultural heritage, it is a man-made law. The point here is forced arranged marriages. No one has the right to make a woman marry when she doesn't want to."