Comedian Kevin Gildea found himself on stage at a comedy festival in Finland when Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest
When my children ask me, "Daddy, where were you when Lordi won the Eurovision Song Contest?", I will be able to tell them that I was in Finland performing at a comedy festival. And when they say, "Will you tell us about it, daddy?", I will say, "No, you must go to sleep now or Lordi will get you!"
Lordi are not the best-looking people in the world and it was some relief to me, never having been to Finland before, that all Finns do not look like Lordi.
I opened with this observation at the final gala show in the comedy festival in Hameenlinna, an hour's drive from Helsinki. People laughed and clapped, as much at the mention of Lordi as anything else. They are delighted that there is something inside Finland that people outside Finland are talking about. Lordi joins a list of few names: Sibelius (composer), Sammi Hyypia (footballer) Mika Hakkinen (racing driver), and Santa Claus (professional generous person).
You sense in some way that Finland needs a Lordi like Lordi needs the best skin cream available. People all over Europe are now talking about Finland - thank Lordi for that!
The Eurovision was on at the same time as the gala comedy show and the audience was provided with regular updates as the votes came in. At one point Sweden was second and there was a particular satisfaction, given that Finland has a relationship with her neighbour similar to Ireland's with England (Sweden having once owned Finland). The fact that Sweden had won the ice hockey world championship that same day - leaving the Finns to make do with third place - made victory all the sweeter. (Ice hockey is the main sport in Finland; when Riverdance played in Helsinki, it was in an ice hockey stadium, which must have been a difficult gig - slipping all over the place.)
When Rich Hall finished his closing set at the gala, it was announced that Lordi had won and the place went briefly crazy. And who could not help join in such celebrations? It was not just a victory for Finland but for us all: it was Good versus Evil, Lordi of the Rings, Lordi versus the Eurovision. On the night, Evil dressed as Good and Good dressed as Evil. Lordi destroyed all before them - even our own Elven King, Brian Kennedy, was put to the sword. Millions of Europeans had been released from the sugary slavery and syrupy shackles of EuroMordor. Lordi had triumphed, and The Sound of Music had been throttled for one glorious night. Everyone in Hameenlinna celebrated, from the pixie people of O'Maggie's Irish pub to the hard- drinking denizens of the pub, Rock Town. It went on all night - we praised Lordi till the next day.
Coming back on the Finnair plane on Monday, the newspapers were filled with Lordi. One Finnish paper had a 20-page supplement pull-out celebrating Lordi. "Hallelujaa!" ran the headline; "They break the 45-year curse," roared another. It was as if Lordi had liberated something. Inside the supplement, various celebs and writers gave their opinion on the win: the winner of Finnish Big Brother said it was new and exciting. Lordi took on the Eurovision and won; why not Lordi Big Brother? "Lordi to the diary room."
It turned out that Tomi, my newspaper translator for the plane journey, was from the home town of Lordi - Rovaniemi in Lapland. I asked him what he thought of Lordi's win and he said: "Great. My home town gets something besides Santa Claus." Lordi wins the Eurovision, Lordi takes on Santa Claus, Lordi for Pope?
Earlier, in a music shop in the airport, the man behind the counter said Lordi had showed that the Finns "had a sense of humour - but twisted". They were playing Lordi in the shop but had sold out of the CD.
In another shop, the Lordi rack was empty but beside it was a rack of "Lordi - previous CDs". It was filled with copies of a Lordi CD called Get Heavy, with such classic tracks as Monster Monster, Not the Nicest Guy and the fantastically titled Would You Love a Monster Man?
I bet Lordi never thought when he wrote those words "Would you love a Monster Man?" that the whole of Europe would answer with an emphatic YES.
Kevin Gildea's next festival appearance is nearer home, at the Smithwick's Cat Laughs Festival in Kilkenny over the June bank holiday weekend
