TIME is running out for Westport's town clock, a 1940s "monstrosity" so unreliable that locals refer to it as "the four faced liar", reports the Mayo News. On occasions, all the clock's four sides have told different times.
Westport UDC is talking about replacing the eyesore with something which is fast becoming the centrepiece of every town in the country a fountain.
"Bearded horny herds" are roaming Laois, Offaly and Kildare as ever before, terrifying children and king over haggards, silage pit, lawns, gardens and roadways, claimed the Leinster Express. The wild goats are so aggressive, that "farmers who at one time agreed that goats cleaned up farms, now claim that this latest breed are cleaning them out while their wives are afraid to go to the clothes line or children frightened to go out an play."
In Newbridge, Co Kildare, locals are being terrorised by wanderings sheep whose traditional grazing areas are being taken over by housing estates. The father of a four year old boy knocked down by a wandering sheep declared that the next time the sheep came in his front gate it would be "curtains" for him, the Kildare Nationalist reported.
Rampaging youths made more headlines than sheep and goats, unfortunately. The Argus reported that, a Garda car came under attack twice in 30 minutes in Dundalk from gangs of youths, who also pelted a fire tender at the second incident. The Kildare Nationalist described the "rampage of wanton, mindless vandalism carried out by a group known as the Midnight Cowboys" in Athy.
An attack on Japanese visitors to Thurles has scuppered the town's chances of being featured in a documentary about Ireland, the Tipperary Star reported. The Japanese spent three days steeped in "Irish culture" before having their car vandalised, prompting the reader to wonder what Irish culture is nowadays, anyway. Quaint, friendly pub culture? Or the things young people do when they get drunk as a result of having been reared in a pub culture?
Rather drily, the Tipperary Star said the Japanese documentary makers were 59 angry that "the prospect of international recognition and a feature in one of the most densely populated countries in the world may now be dashed.
The Laois Nationalist had the rather unappetising report that among the jobs threatened by the "mad cow" scare are those of the animal carcass collectors who carry away sick and dying animals from farms to rendering plants and dog meat factories, since they can no longer "get rid of offal and bones". Locals expect to see more carcasses dumped indiscriminately as a result.
HE Longford Leader took the unusual step of printing a front page editorial in which it described the removal of two Teagasc advisers as a "symbolic kiss of death to farming in Longford. The decision to remove the advisers was "worse in a farming context than the closing of a post office, Garda station or national school. It is a betrayal of the concept of keeping rural Ireland a vibrant place inhabited by people who make a living in their own areas."
Leader blamed "incompetent media coverage" and the "downright boring" utterances of farming spokes people for the fact that non farming people didn't see the significance of the decision, but there was no excuse for politicians.
"We cannot look to any of our politicians to keep rural Ireland alive and thriving any more. Providing still more transport systems for Dublin seems to be far more important," it said.
The Leitrim Observer reported that "public representatives and leaders of the farming community in Co Leitrim have united in loudly condemning the decision by Teagasc to transfer and not replace an agricultural adviser from the Ballinamore area." Angry councillors have resolved to call on Teagasc to rescind the decision which one member described as "an outrageous attack on the farming "community."
"People used to be encouraged to join the navy to see the world. Now they need only join their local council," said the Wicklow People.
Commenting on local reaction to a £10,000 trip to Florida by local councillors attending an international real estate conference in Florida, it reported that "globe trotting councillors ... can look forward to discussing topics such as "Housing the poor in Malaysia Urban housing reform in China and Housing, Market and Policy in the Ukraine.
The Northern People said "Michael D holds Monaghan's Future in his Hands", the kind of headline we are more used to seeing in Galway newspapers. Monaghan Urban District Council is awaiting the verdict of the Minister for Arts, Culture and the Gaeltacht who will solve the "canal v relief road conflict" currently engaging the town. The issue is whether the canal track and it banks should be used to provide the relief road. It is being considered by the Heritage Council.
