This week AILBHE MALONEspots the giant veg massive

* TRACK OF THE WEEK: With Ur Loveby Cher Lloyd. While it wouldn't be difficult to release a better second single than Swagger Jagger, With Ur Loveis a really likable affair. Cher sounds her age – rather than a hoodrat brat. Even the styling in the video is more on message, no more Primark cheerleader jackets. The only downside is Mike Posner's creepy rap. If someone could edit that out and send us an improved link, we'd be much obliged.

* Poor old Sarah Harding is going through a rough patch. After breaking up with her fiancé, a spokesman for Girls Aloud has confirmed that Sarah has entered "a treatment centre for depression and alcohol addiction". A suspect "friend" elaborated to the Sunthat "she's been through a traumatic time in her personal life and had to honour her work commitments on top. She needs some time out to clear her head."

* Let's skip quickly to happier news. Does everyone remember last week's news about Snoop Dogg envying Cardiff veg grower Ian Neale? Well, the two have since met and traded tips. Speaking to the Metro,Neal explained how the Snoop Dogg concert was "an experience – I've never been to anything so loud. My ears are still ringing." Neale and his friend, Kevin Fortey (who Snoop dubbed "the giant veg massive"), then met the rapper backstage and gave Snoop some growing tips and a packet of their "secret ingredient". Fortey mentions that Snoop "was astounded at the length and girth of the 40in-plus cucumbers and said: 'Geez man, the ladies would be very proud of you guys!'"

* We can’t let this week go by without addressing the best Beyoncé rumour yet. The singer recently appeared on TV in Australia and her baby bump seemed to fold in half. Naturally, the internet has decided that Beyoncé isn’t actually preggo, and is paying a surrogate to carry the child. Beyoncé’s spokesperson has quickly quashed the rumours, branding the tattle “stupid, ridiculous and false”. We suppose that’s one problem off Jay-Z’s list.