"Paulo Wanchope is totally unpredictable - but you know what you're going to get when you buy him."

- Alan Shearer. Yep, he said it alright.

"Statistics are like mini-skirts - they give you good ideas but hide the important things."

- Aberdeen manager Ebbe Skovdahl on lies, damned lies and . . . . mini-skirts?

"I could come in after a game like that and say that it was awful, it was bobbins, we didn't play well, we didn't get great crosses in, we could have scored more goals, we were pure *****. I could say that, but I'm not going to."

- Mick McCarthy after the Andorra game.

"More bad news: my senior pet cat Lineker has passed away. He was a good friend and important family member, God bless his soul."

- The latest extract from Crystal Palace's Aki Rihilaati's website diary.

"When we had our recent depressing run and did not win for seven matches, five of them were away from home. And we actually lost the two home games against Middlesbrough and Manchester City. So while things were bleak, they looked a lot bleaker than they really were."

- Earth to Bobby Robson?