Sideline Cut:Like many people, I was deeply moved by the hardships of the Cork GAA fans as expressed on the radio channels over the week. They say Luciano Pavarotti has one of the great tenor ranges. But not even the mountainous Italian crooner could ever hope to quite strike the delicious and unmistakeable note of indignation as sounded by a Cork man with a bee in his bonnet.
It contains a quiver of righteous hurt unique to folks born within the borders of that marvellous county. The Cork man is generally a good-humoured type, his hailing from Cork being the main reason for his consistently high spirits. Years ago, the essayist EB White declared that one must be willing to be lucky to live in New York. The same applies to Cork, except they go one step better. To be from Cork is to be lucky: end of story.
Every man, woman and child from that glorious patch in the southwest know that they have been touched by a divine hand. Many wear the T-shirts to prove it: Irish by Birth, Cork by the Grace of God. It is great to hear and read that kind of declarative, cheerful happiness. Lord knows, there are enough diehard pessimists and doomsayers in Ireland. In the beginning of time, when they were making up the potions for the world, some archangel must have dropped the elixir for brilliance and good fortune on the patch of (lush, profitably arable/dairy but also breathtaking and poetic) land that would millions of years later become the county of Cork.
There is no other explanation for the place. Cork folks know their county is wonderful and they are generous about it. Cork has always had an open door policy. Many the Cork child has been mystified down the years after listening to the story of the Nativity. There were, of course, many handy solutions to the lack of accommodation in Jerusalem. Would you not come to Skibbereen, boy? Plenty a' scratchers in Bandon, like. Nobody from the county has ever claimed that Our Lord was from Cork. But deep down, they know he probably wishes he had been.
There is neither sufficient time nor space to chronicle the achievements or great people emanating from Cork down the years. But the success of Cork teams in Gaelic games is celebrated more years than not and it is the source of the recent upset. After the thrilling hurling quarter-final draw last Sunday, Cork folk headed out of Croke Park perhaps slightly miffed at the late free given against their team but pleased to have yet again starred in a match which made the rest of the country gasp in admiration and awe. It is always a pleasure to be in Heuston Station on a Sunday evening when the Cork clans gather for their homeward voyage. They are easily identifiable from their beams of radiant delight as they look forward to home and a cup of Barry's tea. They smile somewhat sadly at those of us who are heading to those parts of the country not in Cork and sometimes sing De Banks to keep our spirits up.
The Welsh are famed for being a nation of singers. But they are not a patch on Cork singers. Then the Corkonians board their carriages - the Cork trains always look somehow sleeker and more powerful than the others - to down pints of Beamish, enjoy De Paper and listen to some jazz - Cork is the home of jazz.
However, as a nation, Cork was not happy when this weekend's replay was paired with the All-Ireland semi-final meeting between Wexford and Kilkenny, with the ticket cost hiked up by an extra 10 as a consequence. Everyone knows the all-Leinster semi-final clash holds the same popular appeal as the Original Drifters playing at the Grand Hotel in Moate during Lent. Pairing it with the Cork-Waterford replay guaranteed it the kind of crowd and atmosphere a game of that importance deserves. Cork fans would definitely turn up for that game - some of them would even watch it. But the Corkonians were rightly up in arms about being charged 10 extra notes in order to give the Leinster tie a dig-out.
Not, you understand, the Cork man is bothered about spending a few quid to follow his county. For decades now, Cork fans have been travelling up to Dublin to watch their boys and girls winning All-Irelands. They have always been good-humoured about it, noting the Liffey isn't bad for a river that is not the Lee and that it is a good drinking town even if the Beamish tastes a bit queer.
Cork have produced champion hurling, football and camogie teams down the years and have loyally and uncomplainingly headed up to Dublin to watch them excel in all competitions. But it gets damnably costly, particularly in years like this when both the hurling and football teams are threatening to win All-Irelands (Cork would probably "do" the double every year if it wasn't so prohibitively expensive). This weekend, the GAA are asking the loyal Cork man to get the train up to Croke Park today, watch the Cork footballers win, get the evening train back to paradise, hopefully catch evening mass in St Mary's, have a Beamish, catch 40 winks and get the train back up to Dublin to watch the hurlers win their match. It is either that or the beastly alternative of spending a night in the second city. The point is the GAA are fleecing Cork folks because of their excellence. Cork has been a honey pot for the GAA since the early days of the association. Cork folks have been big hearted about this but this weekend is a bit like the GAA announcing they are going to commit daylight robbery on the Rebel County. They have resisted stating what is blindingly obvious: given that Cork teams appear in more All-Irelands than any other county, wouldn't it be a lot more sensible to hold the damn finals by the Lee? This time, though, the people have spoken out.
It is different for the rest of us. Sligo folks, for instance, head back to Croke Park today happy to spend the money they have left over from their last big trip in 1975. Sometimes Cork fans look enviably at counties like Sligo, where fans are asked to travel to Dublin about once every 30 years - when they usually get beaten by Cork. Most of us never have to worry about the cost - emotional, financial and spiritual - of being brilliant and following brilliance.
There is no denying this is an unfair situation. It seems clear the Cork fans ought to be given some class of subsidy. My own view is that they bring such colour and fun to these big days out they ought to be given a handsome mileage rate and compensation for hours spent out of Cork. But the gowls in the GAA will not contemplate that. It is an outrage. If the footballers of Sligo and the hurlers of Waterford have any decency at all, they will end this victimisation by going out and winning against Cork this weekend. Then who'll be sorry?
