WHY CAN’T everyone be like Angel Cabrera?

I don’t mean everyone should be as good as him (otherwise we’d all have green jackets), or slouch their shoulders and waddle from tee-to-green like a duck.

No, why can’t everyone play as quickly as he does?

You know: walk to your ball, see the shot in your head . . . and hit it! Simple. And fast.

Unfortunately, too many players – everyone knows them – want to be like . . . Ben Crane. Or JB Holmes. Not hitting the ball a country mile like Holmes, rather, taking four practice swings and several twitchy rehearsals while standing over the ball and waiting for an egg to boil before hitting the bloody thing.

For too many of us, slow play so often takes the good out of a game. As Colin Montgomerie put it after a round took more than five hours to complete at last year’s Irish Open, “golf’s got too slow – that’s the bugbear in life”.

Slow play on tour can be painful to watch. But at least it is partly understandable, as professionals are playing for the sort of money that could help solve the debt problems of a developing country. Or even ours. However, slow play in golf clubs, even in the social fourball, is totally unacceptable.

And, now that the sun (finally) is out again and clubs have been taken in from the garden shed, isn’t it time for everyone to make sure that speed of play becomes less of an issue?

I’d recommend everyone to take four minutes out of their life to view an interesting little video clip on the topic. It can be accessed at: www.5min.com/Video/How-to-Avoid-Slow-Play-on-the-Golf-Course-11901971. It sets out a number of small, simple measures (ignore the first sector about joining a country club) that everyone can take to the course to ensure you’re a greyhound rather than a snail when it comes to pace of play.

The RA has also issued guidelines to encourage quicker play, aware that it is the bane of many a golfer’s life in clubs around the globe. For instance, were you aware a player is allowed 40 seconds to play a stroke (from the time they get to their ball)? An extra 10 seconds (for a total of 50 seconds) is allowed for situations such as the first player to play on a par three or the first to play the second stroke on a par four or five.

Clubs are also advised to leave a couple of gaps in the timesheet during the day, to allow for any logjams to break up. And course designers will tell you to avoid having water hazards or par threes at the start of a course, as these contribute to groups backing up from the get-go.

One of the arguments in relation to slow play is that ordinary players believe they are actually better than they are and, so, take more time over their preparations. Those who do are being inconsiderate to their playing partners. Unfortunately, clubs can’t hand out fines (such as the one given to Simon Khan in the Irish Open at Carton House a few years ago when hit with €10,000 penalty) for slow play.

It would serve players more if they imitated those pros who play fast and well. Like Cabrera. Like Tiger Woods.

Indeed, like Pádraig Harrington. In the Madrid Open a number of years ago, Harrington was accused by Retief Goosen of being “definitely the slowest player on the tour”. Harrington hit back by remarking that it was “a case of the pot calling the kettle black, he’s no boy racer himself”.

The upshot, though, was that Harrington changed his routine and has speeded up to the extent that even Woods – at the WGC in Doral – was prompted to remark about the Dubliner’s speed of play as an example to others.

And for those of us who feel we’ve got the short straw in being drawn alongside a slow-coach in a round, perhaps it would be worthwhile to take a leaf out of Fultom Allem’s book. After an excruciating round spent playing with Bob Estes a few years ago, Allem wrote, “you are too slow” across his playing partner’s scorecard.