Get on 'Pod' at 2/1, yours sincerely, Vinny

AGAINST THE ODDS:It's MAsters week and Vinny is looking forWard to watching its finale in Foley's over a few pints.

AFTER STUMBLING upon Hughie Green, Most Sincerelyon BBC4 the other night, Vinny felt the former TV entertainer had a lot to answer for as he switched on his lap-top in the kitchenette of his mid-terrace dwelling behind the Clontarf bus depot and contemplated his Masters bets.

Now, the link between the promiscuous Green, complete with his salesman patter and faux-American accent, and the opening major of the golf calendar, wasn't blindingly obvious.

After all, Green, who died in 1997, was familiar as a TV host to a completely different generation and, to the best of Vinny's knowledge, had never swung a golf club in anger.

But Green had tapped into the public conscience via the medium of television like no other and should, felt Vinny, be recognised as the creator of the original reality TV show.

Whether this was a deed worthy of praise was debatable, but Green, undeniably, was ahead of his time with popular programmes like Double Your Moneyand Opportunity Knocksin the 1960s and 1970s, where ordinary Joe and Josephine Soaps got their shot at fame and fortune - Les Dawson, Lena Zavaroni and Pam Ayers, among others.

These days, you couldn't turn on the telly without being bombarded by the likes of Big Brother, Strictly Come Dancing, You're a Starand I'm a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here, thought Vinny, who disliked them all with a passion.

Even when he logged on to one of his favourite websites, Oddschecker, Vinny found he couldn't escape the curse of the reality show as firms were offering prices on the next eviction from the house, or the next doe-eyed hopeful to get the heave-ho from big Brendan in You're a Star.

All Vinny wanted was the latest odds on the footie, racing, golf, rugby and, come the summer, the GAA. Instead, he found himself being distracted by car-crash TV guff. It was all Hughie Green's fault, and he meant that, most sincerely.

Having finally managed to skirt the non-sport diversions on the website, Vinny concentrated on the matter in hand. It was, after all, the first full week of April and for Vinny that meant his annual love-in with the Masters.

For Thursday, Friday and Saturday of Masters week, Vinny would work the early shift from the bus garage before settling down in front of his plasma screen TV - one of his few bachelor extravagances - for an evening's entertainment in front of the box.

Only on Sunday would he stir from his cot, skipping out for a walk on the Bull before hooking up with the lads in Foley's for an evening of in-running betting and stout.

By then, Vinny would have become familiar, once more, with all the nuances of this quirky piece of real estate in America's Deep South, such as the evocative hole names, Tea Olive, White Dogwood and Golden Bell; the trials and torments of Amen Corner, Rae's Creek; and the quirky rituals - Vinny loved the way only the player and caddie were permitted in the playing area.

This, unlike the British Open where scoreboard operators, referees, marshals, media and Uncle Tom Cobley mingled with the players; in the Masters, the isolation was splendid.

He also liked the way the leaders went out in reverse order from the second round, rather than the third.

Because the same players came back year after year, and the holes basically remained the same - even with Tiger-proofing - you could turn on the BBC, listen to good ol' Peter Alliss and instantly recognise a) the golfer and b) the hole he was on.

That wasn't possible with any other major.

Other Augusta attractions for Vinny were the small fields so everyone played in two-balls and, most importantly, the five-hour time difference between Georgia and George's Street.

When the US Open was out west, as it would be this June in Torrey Pines, the eight-hour gap was a killer for pub drinking. But Augusta was, well, just pint perfect.

For the moment, Sunday could wait. Vinny had some homework to do.

Predicting the winner wasn't difficult but, at even money, there was little value to be had by backing Woods now.

Far better to hold fire until Saturday morning, he thought. If the boy wonder was three or four behind then, he would be worth a punt, at less cramped odds.

Vinny had already nibbled at Pádraig Harrington each-way without Tiger and wasn't going to desert the Dubliner now.

In fact, he felt the 2 to 1 against "Pod" for leading player from these islands was too good to ignore.

"I'd be worried about Justin Rose, but he's not firing like last year," he said to himself as he clicked the bet button on his on-line account and invested a score on Harrington.

He placed the same amount on Retief Goosen to be leading South African, also at 2 to 1.

"The Goose has finished second twice, knows his way around and is back on form," thought Vinny.

One other bet caught Vinny's eye: 6 to 4 against a hole-in-one. Vinny had done his homework and knew Trevor Immelman had recorded the last ace, on the 16th in 2005.

With 92 players and four par threes, another hole-in-one was overdue, he felt, and probably at the 16th too. He placed a third score; his bets, for the moment, were done.

Now he could sit back and look ahead to tomorrow's first-round coverage.

Barring a mishap, Eldrick Tiger Woods should be presented with his fifth green jacket in Butler's Cabin come Sunday evening, but there were many other sub-plots to follow.

Green jacket. Green fairways. Green greens. Green divots, there was even green dye in the water. Green hue. Green Hughie. Hughie Green.

"Holy smoke, it's where I came in," muttered Vinny as he reached for the ring of a can of stout.

Bets of the Week

3pts Pádraig Harrington to be the leading golfer from these islands in this week's US Masters (2/1 Boylesports)

3pts Retief Goosen to be leading South African in US Masters (2/1, Betfair)

Vinny's Bismarck

2pts Lay Manchester City to beat Sunderland (9/4, Paddy Power, Liability 4.5pts)