Adding O'Neals to mix a risk to Celtics' chemistry

AMERICA AT LARGE:If the acquisition of Jermaine didn't fill long-time Boston fans with a sense of foreboding, the addition of Shaq will almost certainly set off palpitations of angst, writes GEORGE KIMBALL

SHAQ? IN GREEN? Please say it ain’t so. For the last two days we’ve been trying to imagine Shaquille O’Neal in a Boston Celtics’ uniform, but a conflating vision keeps intruding – that of the mayor, portrayed by David Ogden Stiers, costumed as a leafy squash plant as he marches down the main street of Grady, South Carolina, in the annual Zucchini Festival parade in the 1991 cult classic Doc Hollywood.

Barely six weeks have elapsed since the Los Angeles Lakers defeated the Celtics in seven games to claim the NBA championship. The Boston front office has busied itself since, attempting to shore up the roster with additions that might allow the Celtics to both reclaim their edge vis-à-vis Los Angeles and stave off the emergent threat from within their own division, where the smart money says that in the wake of the league’s most celebrated off-season acquisition, the free-agent signing of LeBron James, the Miami Heat may be the team to beat.

(We’re not quite ready to cede this latter point to the smart money, by the way, having already witnessed the accomplishments of a team boasting both James and Dwayne Wade. The 2004 US Olympic team lost to Puerto Rico, Lithuania, and Argentina, and was lucky to escape Athens with a bronze medal.)

Seemingly against the odds, the Celtics first managed to keep their Big Three of Paul Pierce, Kevin Garnett, and Ray Allen intact, and then set about acquiring the additional components that were supposed to lift their prospects against the perceived competition. If the acquisition of the first O’Neal (in this case, Jermaine) didn’t fill long-time Boston fans with a sense of foreboding, the addition of yet another one (Shaq) will almost certainly set off palpitations of angst.

As in almost any sport, the whole can sometimes be less than the sum of its parts. Jermaine (the O’Neals are not related), who joined his fifth different team when he signed with the Celtics, is a six-time All-Star.

Shaquille, who if the rumours prove correct will be playing with his sixth team at the age of 38, has been an All-Star 15 times (and the Most Valuable Player of the NBA finals on three occasions), but adding either, or in this case both, to an already successful team has the potential of upsetting the delicate balance of chemistry – both on the floor and in the locker-room.

For all his other accomplishments the central episode of Jermaine O’Neal’s career is destined to remain the bench-clearing 2004 brawl in Michigan between the Indiana Pacers and a posse of Detroit Pistons supporters. While O’Neal didn’t start the fight at the Palace at Auburn Hills, he ran into the stands to cold-cock a Pistons’ fan named Charlie Haddad with a roundhouse right. He later pleaded no contest to assault charges, was sentenced to a year’s probation and 60 hours of community service, and was suspended by the NBA for 25 games, although an arbitrator later reduced that punishment to 15 games.

It might be noted in his defence that, all things considered, Jermaine displayed better pugilistic instincts than did Shaquille in the five rounds he boxed against Oscar De La Hoya last year in a segment of his ongoing reality TV series Shaq Vs.

(Did you ever notice that these “reality” programs are anything but real? Renewed for another season, Shaq is supposed to be racing cars against Dale Earnhardt Jr next week. An even greater mismatch aired earlier this summer, when Shaq squared off against a 14-year-old spelling bee champion.)

Shaquille O’Neal’s CV includes four championships, but his NBA history is replete with running feuds with both his coaches (Brian Hill, Phil Jackson, Pat Riley, Stan Van Gundy) and team-mates (most notably Penny Hardaway and Kobe Bryant; he hasn’t ripped LeBron – yet), but the courtship was initiated by Boston coach Doc Rivers, who then left the negotiating to general manager Danny Ainge and Shaq’s agent Perry Rogers.

Under the terms of the deal, as we understand them, Shaq (who has earned some $291 million (€221 million) in salaries over the course of his career) would agree to a two-year contract at $1.35 (€1.1 million) million a year – the NBA minimum for a veteran vested with 10-plus years of service. Ainge has also noted the arrangement would be contingent on O’Neal’s both acknowledging and accepting that his Celtics role would be a limited one, as a reserve player. (Easier said than done, although in addition to spelling Boston’s frontcourt players, Shaq, at 7ft 1½ ins and 300 and God knows how many pounds these days, could also find himself with another role with his new team – that of enforcer.)

So what’s in it for Shaq? Simply put, the chance for one more ring on his way out the door. Last year’s attempt to buy a quick title by pairing Shaq and LeBron in Cleveland didn’t work out too well for either side. Will offering himself up as a component part pay better dividends? We’ll see.

Some are sure to point out that, like the signing of Jermaine O’Neal before him, Shaq’s imminent acquisition seems to fly in the face of the Celtics’ traditional modus operandi, which had historically emphasised a selfless team concept at the expense of individual performance and statistics.

While Boston’s teams were thusly constructed, of solid citizens, in the remarkable heyday of the franchise, applying it to the present might be a hopelessly romantic notion anyway.

In Pierce, Garnett, Allen, and now Jermaine, Rivers was already presiding over a pretty healthy collection of egos, with or without Shaquille O’Neal.

That somebody in the NBA head office has a sense of the dramatic, and perhaps even a sense of humour, was evident in Tuesday’s announcement that the 2010-11 season will kick off with a televised double header on October 26th, the first game of which pits the Celtics against the Heat.