With a ferocious budget ahead, it's a good time to rethink the mindless giving and put an end to not-so-thoughtful gifts, writes
ORNA MULCAHY
A MERE 35 days remain 'til Christmas, which in the eyes of the enthusiastic gift-giver is not enough time at all. I am talking about the kind of person who shops all year round for Christmas, but still never seems to have bought enough small thoughtful things to distribute to friends and colleagues, including flat gifts to be posted to the folks abroad. The kind of person who aspires one day to have a dedicated gift-wrapping space of their own with rolls of wrapping paper suspended over a work table, just like in a shop, and enough Sellotape to ensure it never, ever runs out. These people are in a sticky situation this Christmas, if you'll pardon the pun. Their beautifully wrapped gifts may be especially unappreciated this year, since people aren't in much of a mood to reciprocate.
We're heading for a "selfish" Christmas, according to the UK retail think tank Verdict, which predicts that shoppers will be more inclined to splash out on food and drink for their families, as well as on gifts for themselves, rather than on trinkets for friends and colleagues. According to Maureen Hinton, head of research at Verdict, the trend is for people to cut back on peripheral spending and specifically on knick-knacks for work colleagues. "There is an element of selfishness about it, but spending on food and drink is all about treating your immediate family well." Verdict concludes that we will all spend just as much this Christmas, but a lot of it will be hidden, confined to home and on the people we know best.
Thank God, some might say. There's enough pressure in life without trying be Lord or Lady Bountiful at work or at the book club, scattering scented candles and boxes of chocolates to all and sundry. I say Lord, but in fact this is very much a female thing. We see ourselves as thoughtful, generous creatures, though the giving of gifts can in fact be a selfish exercise that's more about the giver than the receiver. How many times have you been on the receiving end of one of these gifts and thought: "How can they really know me and give me this!"
Everyone knows that this kind of present goes on a merry-go-round of its own at Christmas, being passed from one friend to another, possibly landing back with the original giver the following year. Now, with a ferocious budget ahead, it's a good time to rethink the mindless giving, to call a halt to the not-so-thoughtful gift, and to whittle down the present list.
Personally, this is a bit of a blow. What to do with my bottom drawer of only slightly dubious gifts, none of which I'd mind all that much receiving myself? There are all sorts of interesting things in there - vintage embroidered hankies, minimalist pestles and mortars and some marvellous goggles designed to prevent you weeping while chopping onions. "Keep them if they're so marvellous," says a friend, who declares that this year, she is giving cash to everyone who counts.
She recently organised a 40th birthday party for one of her oldest pals, and guests were told not to bring gifts but that a purse would be handed around the table instead. A mid-life variation on the money tree you could say. Everyone loved the idea, the purse got stuffed with notes, and the birthday lady ended up with enough money to buy something she really needed, which sadly was a domestic appliance.
Giving cash is always a winner, but those in the service industry will have noticed there is not so much of it about anymore. Lavish tipping has gone quite out of fashion. There is no longer any need to dash around spitting out €50 notes like confetti in the expectation of good service, and to show off what a fine type of person one is. Where tips continue, the €50 has been downgraded to a €20, or there's many a crumpled pink €10 note being palmed in places where the things hadn't been seen in years. Maitre d's, valet parkers, car washers and others must surely be feeling the Scrooge effect, though there are others that you simply cannot afford to stiff at Christmas.
"I've stopped tipping the hairdresser so much every week," says a pragmatic businesswoman, explaining how she had to switch hairdressers to get out of the rut of tipping €5 per blowdry. "But I always tip the binman, because I don't want my wheelie bin left rolling around down the road." This Christmas she declares she is not sending Christmas cards (too much trouble, and no one will be doing it this year), and nor is she having anything catered. Not that she can't afford it, but she doesn't want to send out the wrong signals. However, she will continue to give generous vouchers to the teachers of her four children. "That's very important. You don't want to see the handwriting slipping or anything."